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 Post subject: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 9:48 pm 
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Hello all. I have many questions although I will keep this as short as possible. I have recently been driven and pulled into the woods for shamanistic rituals and meditations. Is this normal? I don't even want to be a shaman but these spirits are so strong that they are almost impossible to say no to. They are not evil spirits. They always come in love and power. I have tried to say "no, I don't want to be a shaman." But they are so powerful. They are very soothing to me and benevolent, but again, very powerful. I am very fearful of shamanism as it has always been an utterly powerful and fearful experience for me. The power that is dropped into my being is way too powerful to contain and it scares me. In addition to this I have had many bad things happen to me as a result of studying shamanism. Car wrecks, sicknesses, strange muscle problems, financial woes.....is this normal? Are these evil spirits that don't want to see me fulfill a calling?
This shamanistic power is on me from dawn to dusk sometimes. I guess I'm looking for some answers. I wasn't expecting this. I didn't know how serious the Great Spirit can be when he/she calls someone to him/herself. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy communing with the spirits and the wonderous visions of the Great Spirit, but is there a way to turn this power off? It is too much sometimes and makes it hard to work. Is this some sort of shaman calling? Can someone that has experienced this please reply and tell me what to expect and what steps to take? Thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:30 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
Wh@t you @re expressing feels f@mili@r to me. Although I wouldn't wish this on @nyone, it feels good to he@r these experiences coming from someone else.

Sh@m@nism, without @ good mentor is indeed extremely d@ngerous. I @m still in the process of trying to n@vigate my w@y out of my own Sh@m@nic field of l@ndmines, with body @nd soul in t@ct.

I posted copiously @bout being c@ught up in the whirlwind of ch@kr@s spinning out of control, @nd it seems that I h@ve m@n@ged to put @ lid on my terrifying @str@l experiences, which h@d me @sking the s@me questions @bout evil spirits.

I h@vn't resolved those questions by @ny me@ns, but I did get my ch@kr@s b@ck under control, @nd I @m b@ck to not remembering my dre@ms.

The ones I do remember @re extremely violent, @nd h@ve involved @n@l r@pe, @nd being cut with @ knife.

Wh@t I h@ve told myself is th@t these horrifying, p@inful dre@m experiences @re tempor@ry. But honestly, I think there is more reckoning for me to do.

Wish me luck, @nd I wish you the s@me.

My unsolicited @dvice to you is to see if you c@n put some dist@nce between yourself @nd these experiences, @nd give yourself @ ch@nce to process them @nd ground yourself, before you go @ny deeper

If you decide to go deeper, @nd go to the woods, @nd undert@ke this @ll in one fell swoop, then do your homework @nd provision your soul.

Wh@t you propose to do sounds pretty @ppe@ling though, I must s@y.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 1:47 pm 
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Location: Finland
Clay99, what you tell sounds perfectly how things are, when somebody gets a calling.

Calling is something you feel, you have drawn to do. You may not find any logic in that, have fears for what you are drawn to.

There is no evil spirits, you are just afraid.

You fear, because of the feel of terrible power. Power is not evil, it is just power. You know, you are helpless against it. It can take you, eat you, dismember you. It either cause you illness, personal losses, strong dreams, being pulled to do something weird, or even psychotic moods. This is called shamanic initiation. It has nothing to do with any human being. Skilled shamans may help you understand process, but they are also helpless to do anything your comfort.

During this period spirits "cook or boil" you. You may be tested several times by methods you already told. How long, it depends on individual. After that you'll be reconginised in spirit world, have strenght and courage to act there. You'll still have all the miseries humans have. Nothing change there. You'll not be shaman either as a way most people think they are. More precisely you'll be YOU, doing what you do.

What will change is understanding of powers unseen. You will remember fear you felt and that power you felt. You'll not anymore be just a spiritual turist doing this and that and abuse different traditions to build up your ego. Or, well, that possibility always remains... but after things have cooled down. But who would pervert something, they hold sacred?

About pulling it off. DON't!!!

I do not have experience, what would happen then. But is written about those situations, it may be far worse. I know one person, who got a warning from spiritworld to choose, either stop it all, or get fully involved. She had done just few workshops and attainded drumming group few years. She stopped. I think you have already crossed the line, and there is no turning back now. This is not a weekend trip.

Nowadays I despise the word shaman or shamanic, because of it's egocentric focus. But, if I tell you about the Way Of The Heart, which beats the rhythm of drum, youll get the point better. You may feel it right, even when you're afraid. Process may reveal much of yourself and the world, which scares. But it is true.

It may be, that you'll lose much, but what you get instead is much better. You may feel it even now, that you have no real options there. That is act of love. Do not stop it, you'll only lose more. You are in good hands, even when you fear the change.

Shamanic calling and shamanic initiation has nothing to do with grounding or getting high. Person may even being possessed by a spirit, but that thing comes whether you are grounded or not.

What you need is to be stable, humble and enduring. I would rather avoid any narcotics and alcohol. Continue, what you are pulled to do: rituals and mediattions into the woods, times you feel pulled to do it. You may not know yet it fully, but you also love to do it. This is The Way Of The Heart. You are learning to follow it by spirits guiding.

Power you feel now, feels partly so immense, because your system is not used to deal with yet. But it will. That is the reason for muscle and neural pains. No fear, you are not going to explode. Pains will vanish, when your system is a ready vessel to hold it all. Then you know.


Last edited by Jusma on Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:02 pm 
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Oh, one other thing. You might be better on your own. If this really is shamanic calling nobody can really comfort, but more easily worse your situation. You need to build your trust for spirits.

One friend told once, that he asked for initiation from a mystic organisation. He mediatated a year daily, to make himself ready for it. Even by doing preparations a year, he found during initiation and after that he was not ready after all. There begun his 10 years of nightmare.

People, who ask for it more often ask for troubles. Those, who are called by spirits are already ready enough. I do not remember heard any real hardships come to them (I mean losing mental health, minor changes may happen), who were called and boiled by spirits. But those people, who ask for it, there I know few.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:42 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
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Strong @dvice.

But it's good to m@ke @n educ@ted choice. There is @lw@ys choice, @lw@ys free will.

C@n you cl@rify how wh@t might be g@ined from just jumping in will be better th@n everything th@t might be lost?

My experience tell me spirit is c@pricious. Gently c@rressing you one minute, @nd @na@lly r@ping you the next. E@sy to see how something like this might not end well.

Best to think @nd t@ke st@lk before doing @nything d@ngerous.

Yes, the OP c@n indeed p@use to consider the next step @nd would be well @dvised to do th@t.

Person@lly I think getting r@ped @nd h@cked up with @ knife is evil.

I'm @ll @bout b@l@nce now.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 2:59 am 
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My whole message was for Clay99 only, answer for that circumstance I read. There was no anal raping. Overall feeling I got was balanced and quite stable, but a bit disturbed and fearful.

Wildcard's text is far from it, giving me a feel of complately different situation. I have never been attacked by spirits with a weapon. When there's been sexual activity, I cannot call it rape. I have never even heard of such things to happen. That for it sounds more like personal trauma, you are living again, or something else, which would need professional help rather than anything else.

I never had any feeling of chakras spinning, to be unstable to extent it sound more like a mental disorder. You do not sound well at all.

It is not at all the same being attacked repeatedly/anal raped or being claimed by a spirit that you are hers in a form of dismembering. I think anybody can tell the difference of evil intent or a loving one, even when it is frightful.

Because you sound so unstable WIldcard, I would recommend complately different approuch. Try to remember, when all this started to happen, was there something to, which triggered everything? And most of all seek help.

One guy, who made too much "experiments" had his 6 th chakra going wild. What you tell Wildcard, the symptoms sound more like his. By the time he got himself to dry land, but meanwhile had a bit too much "visitors". He had to stay home few years. He had to abandon everything which stimulated his 6th chakra.

After that experience he knew, what anybody should not do. Chakrawork is not a plaything either. If that is your case also. There are ways to control chakras, learn them and use them. Pendulum, if I remember right is one tool for it.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:17 pm 
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I'm just s@ying that this is @ d@ngerous ro@d, @nd it's wise to re@lly consider the next steps.

You @re @n @uthority @s f@r @s your own experiences go. Not mine.

Fr@nkly I would run from those who think they h@ve @ll the @nswers for everyone.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:54 pm 
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What you say makes sense Jusma. I guess I am humbled because I didn't realize how serious this is. I am further humbled because I thought it was a game of self-empowerment, and now I am realizing it isn't about that at all but is really a healing of myself, or what I thought was myself.
I was initiated into the Golden Dawn four years ago. It was a powerful experience but it had a Christian quality to it that didn't sit well with me. I finally turned to the study of Shamanism and went to a Shaman in the mountains of Colorado for soul retrieval and healing. Wow, I didn't realize I was turning a switch on that would eventually turn my life upside down. I tried to run from it by ignoring it, but divine power and kindness was ever with me. I finally realized that these spirits have my best interest in mind. I have recently embraced them like brothers. My only regret is that I treated them with disdain. I am glad they didn't leave.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2013 10:55 pm 
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wildcard wrote:
I'm just s@ying that this is @ d@ngerous ro@d, @nd it's wise to re@lly consider the next steps.

You @re @n @uthority @s f@r @s your own experiences go. Not mine.

Fr@nkly I would run from those who think they h@ve @ll the @nswers for everyone.

I am very sorry that you had to go through that Wildcard. I was attacked psychically for over five years when I was in my twenties. Through the study of the occult arts I found a lot of healing in my thirties. Have you considered going to a shaman that might be able to help? I am not adept to the deeper things of shamanism but I have read several books. Some shamans have a very powerful authority over evil spirits and might be able to heal you.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 3:12 pm 
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Location: Finland
Wildcard, that is true. I have nothing but my own experieces I trust. I cannot find connections into what you tell. You seem to be in condition of needing help. Same time it seems, you do not want any. And at no time I have suggested myself as a helper. I was suggesting to find a professional.

And because my educated guess seemed to resonate with Clay99's experience, I'll rather continue conversation PM, if you feel so.

Anyway your path reminds of my own and nowadays I feel great gratitude for it. Sometimes also felt the divine bliss, but at the time all was happening, terrified. At first I also made a (fake) initiation by myself following order from book, also empowerment in mind. That was fake, holding nothing in it. Real one came afterwards spontaneusly. I think the first acted like a prayer for the real.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 2:06 am 
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It is true that without a good human guide, practicing shamanism can be dangerous. You are not just imagining the dangers. They exist. Even more than you imagine. Evil spirits exist, just as evil people exist. And the path itself is very demanding. You have to have someone trustworthy to support you on a shamanic path. Especially, when you are a novice. If Spirit has not presented to you a guide, do not proceed for the time being. You are not ready. A trustworthy guide is someone you feel a heart bond with. Someone who is knowledgeable and truthful.
Secondly,everything is a matter of balance. You can practice shamanic methods in moderation,while keeping yourself grounded in the world of everyday reality. You know your own limitations. Take risks with caution.
One can be injured physically and mentally beyond repair,on a spiritual quest, if one does not have proper support.
Thirdly, I advise you to summon up all your allies-both human and non-human, to come and help you on your path. If you give up on your spiritual quest,you will be a defeated person, who goes on living as a shadow of his potential self. You don't want that to happen to you. You have a strong calling and you should not numb yourself and block it. Just take small steps every day, in the direction that your heart tells you to go. If you persist, you will gather strength, until the conditions for your definite journey improve,and a true guide appears on your path.
And remember, one does not have to call oneself a shaman, to be a shaman. Be well.
oracledreamhealer


Last edited by oracle on Tue Jul 16, 2013 2:17 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2013 12:34 pm 
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Jusma,

I h@ve re@lly @ppreci@ted the attempts of others to help, but the truth is they couldn't help. It's not their f@ult @nd I've never been good @t communic@ting wh@t ex@ctly I need help with.

You're not re@lly helping when you m@ke @ssumptions @bout wh@t's going on with me. Telling me I need profession@l help, is @ bit of @ cop out. I'm sure you're @w@re that there isnt' @ psychi@trist out there who wouldn't write me off @s delusion@l @nd stuff me with @nti psychotic meds just to shut me up. So... wh@t's the point in th@t?

Or@cle's @dvice is gre@t. Even if Cl@y doesn't follow it, I think I will.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:44 pm 
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when all this began, earlier this year, it started out like love. i fell in love. but when the dreams just kept coming, and my chakras were thrown wide open, i knew this was something else. i wondered what would happen if i resisted. i suspected things would get very bad, but i wondered how bad. i believe it was the beginning of demonic possession. there were times when i could literally feel something heavy and dark seeping into me, and when i resisted that, the horrifying night experiences began. i am/was very healthy physically, but now i'm very weak and very tired. i reject this spirit, and it just might kill me. not that i care at this point, but it won't have me, that's for sure. i would die first. if you still care about your life, then be careful. sorry, but my keyboard is slowly shutting down, hence no caps, or paragraph spaces. under the circumstances i thought adding @ to the mix would be to much, ha.


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:34 pm 
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As far as i know,an entity cannot take over your body(getting possessed)
without your consent. Possession is a matter of contract between the two parties. However,when you are weak, it is hard to fight off entities that are attacking you or interfering with your life.
If you are clear that there is an unwanted entity in your life,and you are unable to shake it off, you would need to find a strong shaman or medicine person and ask for their help. Together,you would need to do a special ritual,which would involve breaking off the cords/link that you have with the entity,releasing it and sending it away. You would need to release from your body the energies of that entity and end the contract. Getting rid of an entity, is like divorce. A big hassle!


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 Post subject: Re: Driven into the wilderness
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:55 pm 
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oracle, again what you say resonates. if i'm honest, i think i threw it off awhile ago, in any case there are no symptoms at this point. what's troubling me is something that happened a few weeks ago. it was an extremely positive thing, but i wanted to kill myself pretty much since then. i woke up, reached for my cat and said to my cat "i love you." i heard back, in a very clear voice speaking softly but audibly " i love you too, (my name)" i do not have auditory hallucinations. that's all i heard, and since then, all has been well in my life - at least nothing outside the real life problems that need dealing with, but not so with me. who was that? can a shaman tell me? does spirit lie when it says it loves you? why does it know who i am, but i don't know who it is? why cant i just be happy someone loves me and just leave it at that? i think the wanting to die part is the desire not to be separated from love any longer, and some resentment at feeling toyed with.


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