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 Post subject: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:13 am 
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Greetings to all my shamanic brothers/sisters!

I'll try not to ramble too much, but I make no guarantees od brevity.

So when I was a child, I would spend a lot of time alone in the woods. I just loved the solitude of the trees, how I could be alone, yet not alone. I could feel... something. But it was hard to pinpoint what.

It has come out in therapy recently that I have been building the emotional equivalent of the Great Wall of China since I was in diapers, for whatever reason. It is hard to feel anything at this point. This makes it difficult to commune with Spirit. I "understand" my calling to the shamanistic ways. I "know" the spirits are there. I can logic my way out of anything, including my first Salvia experience (my second experience, Spirit made sure I experienced what I was supposed to the first time: an actual, touchable, impenatrable wall before me).

I love my therapist to pieces. She's never judgemental of me, always encouraging, and always helps me to get to the roots of my issues (like ADHD).

But I feel (oddly) that this emotional wall will not be penetrated in therapy. I feel I need... something else... to be able to take my first real steps on the shamanic path.

Anyone have experienced this before? Anyone else been able to break down this wall? I know I can't do it alone. Spirit showed me that in my salvia vision. Can the shamanic healing heal this? Can I get past this and actually fulfill my calling?

I want to know my power animal and spirit helpers. I want to be able to heal my community and the people in it. I want to be able to protect them from evil influence and malevolent spirits. I know, in my mind, that all of that exists. I choose to believe it. But can I ever "feel" it?

Sorry if this is rambling. I tend to do that, and that's kind of what all is on my mind lately. Thank you for listening!


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:45 am 
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Emotional walls are the hallmark of an industrialized society, the machine that squelches the spirit. If it's purely a mental block, it might take a shift in mindset. If you can "logic your way out of anything", don't. When you feel yourself start doing it, stop. Logic is the lie people tell themselves so they can shut off their hearts to the world.

Otherwise, it could be an intrusion or a psychic wound of some kind. Either way, shamanic healing could help, but that would depend on the skills of the healer.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Posts: 30
I think that many of these things are worked out in time. I have been on the magical path for three years and it has taken me this long to heal myself. I am now starting out on first base, where everyone else starts, but had to sit in the dugouts for three years to go thru a healing process. I have had grand visions of being a benevolent healer, wizard kind of guy, but now that I have seen how long it took to just get to first base I realize that the powerful shaman vision of myself may never happen, and I am ok with this. I am starting to realize what is important. What's important is the deep communication with spirits and earth, and even the "Great Spirit" in the male and female aspects. This is what is important. If this leads to being a powerful shaman, then great. But I am finally seeing that the spirits and Spirit seems to show up around people that have thrown away their ego, indeed they have grown to a spiritual level in which they don't want any recognition or human adoration. Does Merlyn sound like this sort of person? He stayed out in the woods and was considered a wild man by some. But his powers were such, that he was summoned by kings and queens.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:08 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:39 pm
Posts: 66
Extreme conditions call for extreme measures.
To cross the wall of china,
a very tall ladder is needed.
Little therapist does not have it.
He who tries to break this wall,
is in danger of being broken by it.
Every precaution must be taken!
Every ally must be summoned!
The people have fallen prey to evil influences...
You can not save them.You can only save yourself.
The wall is surrounded by guards.The guards are your people.
Are you ready to leave them behind?You are not!
To transcend the wall is possible,but would require an inner revolution.
A great deal of determination, support,and tons of accumulated energy, are a must!If these are not available,surrender to living within The Wall`s confines.
The Sage. Email:sagedreamscanada@yahoo.ca


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:39 pm
Posts: 66
Extreme conditions call for extreme measures.
To cross the wall of china,
a very tall ladder is needed.
Little therapist does not have it.
He who tries to break this wall,
is in danger of being broken by it.
Every precaution must be taken!
Every ally must be summoned!
The people have fallen prey to evil influences...
You can not save them.You can only save yourself.
The wall is surrounded by guards.The guards are your people.
Are you ready to leave them behind?You are not!
To transcend the wall is possible,but would require an inner revolution.
A great deal of determination, support,and tons of energy are a must!
If these are not available,surrender to living within The Wall`s confines.
The Sage. Email:sagedreamscanada@yahoo.ca


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 260
Location: NW UK
ADHD and Aspergers could both be seen spiritually speaking as a great emotional wall so it doesn't surprise me that this is how you are experiencing it or that it has been with you since early childhood. From experience these particular forms of imbalance don't easily allow for changes of mindset.

Living a shamanistic life is a wonderful start, showing respect, honour and gratitude to all things. If you are already 'knowing' that all things have Spirit and starting to 'feel' how connected you are to everything then other aspects of emotion may fall into place.

Helping and healing others shamanically, however, isn't much about what we wish or want for, it is a spiritual path and Clay99 is right, getting ourselves out of the way is very important. It is the Spirits who bring the power to change and heal, it is they who call to us and work through us. Without them we are just flailing around doing nothing.

How would you feel about doing 20 minutes meditation each morning?


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 4:03 am 
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Snowy wrote:
If you can "logic your way out of anything", don't. When you feel yourself start doing it, stop. Logic is the lie people tell themselves so they can shut off their hearts to the world.


Logic is not the lie people use to shut their hearts off to the world. Logic is of the mind-the active side, not the receptive side.

Both sides of the mind are love-based energy, both deserve love, both are needed and are useful for different things. Just don't try to swap their functions and use one for what the other is for.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:14 pm 
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Quote:
Logic is not the lie people use to shut their hearts off to the world. Logic is of the mind-the active side, not the receptive side.

Both sides of the mind are love-based energy, both deserve love, both are needed and are useful for different things. Just don't try to swap their functions and use one for what the other is for.


Shamanism relies on intuition, not mechanistic thought. Your advice might work for "Western Occultism" such as Chaos Magick or Ceremonial Magic, but not for one who walks the shaman's path. Especially in the industrialized West, the biggest obstacle to psychic development is the overbearing logical mind that drowns out the heart and spirit.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 4:23 pm 
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Location: NW UK
Perhaps it's the balance in between intuition/senses and logic which is the key? People who use no logic or discernment are apt to follow the first daydream which comes along and end up giving all their power and money away to the first spiritual con man who promises enlightenment for £1000.

All the hero myths from around the world show us that creativity, cunning, logic, discernment and intuition are all necessary to overcome the various trials along the way. They teach us to think and consider when to fight or when to fly, when to use a cunning ruse or when to be bluntly honest.

Neither is wrong, both need to be in balance don't you think?


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:32 pm 
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Thank you all for your replies. I've been watching this thread closely, though haven't had time to respond until now.

As a survival mechanism, my "logical mind" has served me well. During my teenage years, my mother was a paranoid schizophrenic. It is part of why my wall is so hing, as the emotional toll was nothing to sneeze at (all the while dealing with the self inflicted guilt knowing that as bad as I had it, there were others worse off). The ability to logic my way through allowed me to separate my mother's worldview from reality.

I didn't mean, however, to bring up my logic as a positive thing. Logic has it's place, it should be balanced, as Forest Child said. But though I think Snowy may be a little too extreme on it, he/she does have a point in that it can absolutely be a hindrance. As human animals, we have developed emotions for a reason. It's much better to be able to feel an emotion, than need to look at a situation logically, assume all parameters, decide how you think you SHOULD feel in a given moment, and then deliberately act that way.

I do wonder if the wall is a manifestation of my mind; that if I were to take my first shamanic journey (something I am excited to do, but also fearful of failure), my spirit would be able to feel the emotional aspect fully while it was in the spirit world. I guess there's only one way to find out eh?

And Forest Child, I understand what you were saying about the healing art being Spirit working through us, and not a manifestation of our own power. I know that. I do tend to articulate things from a self-centric perspective, though. I'm not excusing the "verbal" slip-up. Merely admitting that yes, it is a flaw I know I have in my writing/speaking. And I'm thankful for the correction. And 20 minutes of meditation in the morning sounds great. I'll see if I can work that in, but I'm already getting up at 5:14 am (the last possible minute I can before I'll miss my bus after my morning routine). But nothing comes without sacrifice. I think It's a good suggestion, and I will work it in, somehow. And I'm slowly getting better at walking in a shamanic mindset, being thankful for all that is in my life, even the struggles that help me to grow. I'm glad you see that as a good step forward.

Oracledreamhealer, I love your writing. I'll think on that for a long time, I'm sure. And I see a lot of wisdom in it.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:45 pm 
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Quote:
Perhaps it's the balance in between intuition/senses and logic which is the key? People who use no logic or discernment are apt to follow the first daydream which comes along and end up giving all their power and money away to the first spiritual con man who promises enlightenment for £1000.


Scammers and others with harmful intentions get my hackles up, no matter how persuasive. But then, I suppose not everyone has those animal instincts...

Quote:
All the hero myths from around the world show us that creativity, cunning, logic, discernment and intuition are all necessary to overcome the various trials along the way. They teach us to think and consider when to fight or when to fly, when to use a cunning ruse or when to be bluntly honest.


Not just hero stories, trickster tales too. :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:14 am 
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Snowy wrote:
Scammers and others with harmful intentions get my hackles up, no matter how persuasive. But then, I suppose not everyone has those animal instincts...


Most do but when your hackles are up you have to use your rational brain to discern the persuasive from the b*****it. Even writing here demands your logical brain. We need both aspects.

Snowy wrote:
Not just hero stories, trickster tales too. :wink:


Which trickster tales are you thinking of?


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:39 pm
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Why is the oyster enclosed in a hard shell?It is because, it is so tender.
Why do we build walls,fences and borders?Because, we need protection.
For how long does the butterfly stay in his cocoon?Until it is ready to fly.
If it came out of the cocoon too early or too late,it would die.
When your wings are long enough and strong enough,you will fly.

Limitations.We keep them, until we are ready to discard them.
Are we our limitations?We are not.
Our spirits roam in infinity.

The Sage.
email:sagedreamscanada@yahoo.ca blog/oracledreamhealer.com


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:44 pm 
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Quote:
Which trickster tales are you thinking of?


Coyote stories, mostly.


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 Post subject: Re: The emotional Great Wall
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:08 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:16 pm
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Location: NW UK
Snowy wrote:
Quote:
Which trickster tales are you thinking of?


Coyote stories, mostly.


There are so many Coyote stories it's difficult to be precise but the more widely known trickster aspect still tend to teach the same thing about using lateral thinking as well as creative inspiration, the hero tales are similar. By learning about the trickster we learn how not to be tricked ourselves.


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