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 Post subject: shamanic crisis?
 Post Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:56 pm
Posts: 1
Hey there,

Here is my story. I just turned 23 years old on November 1st and have had OCD for a long time. I had quite a few crack-ups while I had OCD over the past six years where I was more or less incapacitated. I even had a period of extreme, endless despair, but I also developed a very ecstatic spirituality at the same time. I believe during this period the Universe blessed me with superior aesthetic vision, and because of this I decided to devote myself to developing skills as a classical pianist and composer. I never developed any "real world" skills though, leaving me entirely dependent on my parents, who are divorced and do not get along at all. While they both love and care about me, I have experienced one as being an alcoholic, the other as basically considering those things about me that are essential to my character as being effed up. So they are really hard for me to depend on and even speak to about my needs, though I do try to release much of the resentful feelings that I have, knowing the effects these have on health.

Anyway, about 7 months ago I had a traumatic event where I basically lost what I considered to be my home. From stress and anxiety, no doubt, I developed a list of ailments - worsening vision, teeth that have felt loose, tendonitis, hair loss, and other things that I don't really like to talk about or draw attention to. To make matters worse, my present appearance being what it is has diminished my self-esteem to about zero, I have felt great, great shame just to be seen, and any plans I made for my future have completely fallen through because of all of this.

However, some interesting things have developed. In the past 3 and a half weeks, I have discovered some very interesting abilities, including clairvoyance, remote viewing, empathy, occasional seeing of auras (though sometimes I am not sure if this is just my vision being really blurry and adding extra colors or something). I could give a long list of the dozens of occasions that I have been able to do these things, some of them include telling people who I have never met what their passions are and their life path is, seeing objects or people they are thinking of, things about their family as well as trivial things like what their favorite color is or about special objects they have. Also, feeling present pains and excitements in the other people has also been possible for me. I have also had prophetic dreams for a while, usually about trivial, benign things, as well as some of what I believe are collective unconscious/ super-meaningful dreams, as well as lucid dreams involving combat with strange creatures.

While I am still in worse shape than I have ever been, I am thrilled about these new abilities. Sometimes I begin to doubt what I have done or that I actually have them, but then something new always happens in which the abilities present themselves again. I haven't been able to practice them for a while because of schoolwork, however. I asked my mom about this, and she said that when I was very little I was psychic, and she believes it was knocked out of me somehow. She also said (as well as other people in her family) that my grandma (her family is Puerto Rican) was a shaman who could foresee events in the future and know things about people inexplicably, and create healing remedies from herbs.


Anyway, does this sound like a shamanic crisis? Is this a calling? Where do I go for training in things like this, is there a school or a camp or something? I have to admit, personal power has been something on my "to do" list for a long time, and all my life I have asked the universe for it, I just didn't expect so much pain to anticipate it. I would very much like to be able to heal myself, to change reality, and to refine these abilities so I can join/ be of service to a community of some kind in some way (having somewhere to belong to is important for me). I also still want to be a classical musician, but it is easy to find training for that.

Anyway, thanks in advance!


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 Post subject: Re: shamanic crisis?
 Post Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 2:15 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:44 am
Posts: 17
Location: New Mexico, US
It could be a shamanic crisis, but it sounds to me more like you're suffering from stress, anxiety, and not caring for your body properly.

I suggest evaluating your diet, seeking the vitamins and minerals your body is clearly lacking. Take a multi-vitamin if you must. Also, force yourself to make time for physical activity.

Shamanic practice isn't just about the mind. You can't work effectively, even for yourself, if you do not also tend your body. You don't need to have the body of an athlete or a model, but you absolutely must have a body that is as healthy as you can be.

You may be experiencing an awakening, but you won't survive it well if you don't tend to your health.


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 Post subject: Re: shamanic crisis?
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:35 pm
Posts: 30
Great post. I don't know how old you are so I don't know how you're feeling about what you're going through. I understand your pain though. I developed alopecia when I was 9; became the laughing stock of my town and family. I developed OCD when I was 21. I am now seeing the doctor because I might have Multiple Sclerosis, but I am happy and more confident than ever. You see, when I was 28 I had an epiphany. I realized that I would never win in this world based on my looks. I decided to do something about my personality. I took stand-up comedy lessons, acting lessons, and spent countless hours at bars learning how to win people over to myself. Today I am an ugly man but I can make friends with some of the coolest cats in town and I date beautiful women. It's not really about all that but I did prove to myself that my looks mean nothing.
As far as shamanism goes it sounds like you have some sort of natural ability. Maybe you could develop that ability through shaman rituals and meditations. My personal view is that once you come to a deep level of understanding, then all the worries about what people think or what society thinks fades away. A true happiness evolves as the months pass. It's not like a fake happiness that we work up but rather it is a happiness that comes from knowing truth...it is a personal empowerment in which we know who we are and we know that we are all one.


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 Post subject: Re: shamanic crisis?
 Post Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 10:11 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:35 pm
Posts: 30
Also know that shamanism is about you. It is about the deepest part of yourself. It's not about the personal opinions of others, or anyone's expectations. I think that's what I like about it. It's becoming one with the Divine. And the definition of that Divine is very hard to put into words. Some people put arms and legs and a face on it, but I tend to believe that it is much deeper than that. Shamanism, to me, is like laying in a perfect river where the water temperatures is just right...and in that river there are no time constraints.


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 Post subject: Re: shamanic crisis?
 Post Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:35 pm
Posts: 301
Location: Finland
I think you have those inner gifts, which may be released because of the stress you endured. Your parents are as they are. You may wish they could be otherwise, but then it is you putting expectations on others.

Consider traumas you had and live, face them again to get strenght in your current situations. You need no more extra load.

It sounds, your ablities work spontaneusly. You know, there is intimacy every person have as a RIGHT. It is not your business even to know or peek any other persons affairs unless asked to.

You may develop your skills by making a request into air. For example, if a person comes to you ask help for a problem, make a light wish, if information asked could be shown to you to be further told to that person. Remember ethics.


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