I have been soul-searching for while, trying to find a new way to approach the forum. I have set out for a long time to spread the knowledge of the Cholqij in an understandable format for the modern world. The only problem is that I do not feel qualified enough to manage this dilemma in time for the cultural revolution that will be sparked as a result of the year 2012. I have not consulted any elders as to what I should do, but am seeking them out. I need counsel, and good counsel is hard to find, but I will persist, because that's the only way the world will be in harmony with its inner parts and that's the only way we're going to find harmony in our daily lives. We need the Cholqij Revolution!
Guided by the Great Spirit and the spirits around, I have come to conclusion that I cannot become an Ajqij, or at least that's what my intuition leads me to believe. Why can't I become an Ajqij? Because I don't live in Guatemala. But the way of the Ajqij holds so much appeal to me that to discard the possibility makes me cringe with anger. I pray to the nawales, make offerings from the nawales, seek counsel in the nawales, have hope in the nawales, but still, yet still, I cannot find a place for myself in the world as an Ajqij.
I've been perusing through an old book of mine named Jaguar Wisdom
. In a section titled, "The Making of a Daykeeper," it says:
Not everyone can become a Calendar shaman or Daykeeper. In some conservative Quiche communities, like Momostenango, only those who are born on special days of the Sacred Calendar are believe to be naturally endowed with coyopa, the "lighting in the blood." Without body lighting, it is difficult to succeed in becoming a Daykeeper. Nevertheless, even those who have no been born with a great deal of natural coyopa inherent i their day-signs may still manage to acquire a powerful quantity of "body lightning" through intensive training and spiritual practice. Whether born or made, the potential Daykeeper--like shamans everywhere--must come into the profession by way of vision, an illness, or often both.
I am an 11 Cauac. I do not have body lighting and my sign is very weak. I have good traits here and there, but my signs entails much suffering in this material world. To become a Daykeeper by way of vision and illness is my only way. I will not become an Ajqij, but I will try to honor certain aspects of the Ajqij's way of life, and maybe some day, I will be ready to take on the challenge. I have plenty of visions, but I have no calendar dreams. The visions are usually induced by rituals, drumming and rattling, burning sacred herbs like sage and burning copal to the aztec and maya gods. I shamanic journey to the aztec underworld and xibalba hoping that I find a key to all my ills, but my illness is still there. I hear evil spirits that try to seduce me into become an ajnawal mesa, but I do not want to. They tempt me and tempt me but I stay resilient.
There is the way of the Healer and the way of the Spiritualist. Let me be a Healer. But how do I heal. What tools do I need to be successful in healing the ailments of my fellow man without enforcing on them my own energy. Or do I have to. How do I manipulate energies in order to take away the supernatural or spiritual causes of illness in people. I know a few techniques and a few tricks, but these are methods that I have learned myself through discipline, dedication, and the power of will. But is will enough? Is it self-righteous of me to think that my illness is shamanic and that I am to become a Daykeeper just because I feel like it--or have I been chosen by divine intervention. How foolish we human are. But I do have a destiny, and I'm hoping that through our common efforts we may discover all of our destinies and see where it fits in the grand scheme of the cosmos.
I want to become a master of spirits and a master of ecstacy, like the shamans of old, but do I have what it takes? That is up to my patients I decide to heal and the community to decide, that is, whether I am a shaman or not. Even if I decide to be just another calendar shaman and not an Ajqij, I will be satisfied. I'm trying to do the work of Spirit, but I need spiritual guidance. Where will my travels lead me. I hope to a safe place where I could truly help with the Cholqij Revolution. Everyday, I wait for 1 Imix to come to my doorstep so I can say "Here I am, lord Imix." But like everyone else, I have to wait for that new beginning. I have a long trek ahead, but in the spirit of the four directions and with the Cholqij Revolution forever in my heart, I say farewell until I see an omen to return. I know that you have much to teach if I am only willing to listen. I will listen.
Yours in the struggle,