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 Post subject: For my own curiosity
 Post Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 6:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 5:49 pm
Posts: 5
Hello everyone.

I need some advice regarding certain events that have occurred over the past years, some of which go way back. I "need" to know whether I should experiment with shamanism or not. I do not consider myself very spiritual, and left the church when I was 14, just to make this clear. Recently however, I have been thinking a lot about some strange things that have occurred throughout my life as I was dealing with some bad memories.

Here is a short recollection of some of the things I remember:
I remember being carried home late at night by my mother, and I looked up into the sky, everything seemed so clear, and I could see a lot of stars, despite the fact that we were living in a city.
Also I almost drowned once when I was five, but someone saved me. I think I had an out of body experience though, but I'm not so sure, it was a long time ago.

Also when I was about eleven, I kept hearing this humming when in the forest, like aum, but deeper and with some light drumbeat beneath, like a calling.

I allways got along well with animals, and I loved dogs and large birds like owls, ravens and eagles, I even thought vultures were cool as well as ostriches. But I especially loved dogs, and used to have one for a number of years. We had to put him down eventually because he was sick, and dogs generally like me.

I started to like crows when I got older, and often felt a longing to be outdoors when it rains, to talk to myself and to be near forests. I liked to be outside late at night just to see everyone go home, and I really enjoyed the sound of thunder, I felt calm whenever I heard it.

I started to have dreams that "came true" as I would recognize things from dreams in reality.

I always felt calmed and healed by the rain, and I have constantly had an urge to walk outdoors during sunset and sunrise, or when there is a rainstorm. I once took a walk in the forest when it was raining, and the sound of leaves being hit by rain drowned everything else out, and the clouds hung very deep over the treetops, you could hear the wind, and a thin fog was around. Also there was a sweet scent of decaying leaves and wood and sounds that crows make. I started to ramble very loudly about stuff that only made sense when it was said and only is underrstandable when in that state of mind. Stuff about what good and evil is, how wrong the perception of one good and one evil "god" is, and how humans and nature were supposed to get along. And things about stuff that might happen, like as if someone spoke with me and through me at the same time I responded and reasoned with the things "he" told me and figured out stuff myself. I thought I stood still for hours but it was only a couple of minutes.

I also have a story about me and a friend encountering a "spirit" which I wrote down somewhere, I will post it later .


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 Post subject: Re: For my own curiosity
 Post Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:17 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:36 am
Posts: 9
Location: Arizona
Hi Nirual,

You are one among very many who have had interesting events in their lives. More and more, young people are experiencing psychic phenomenon and in many cases do not really understand what is happening. If you are wanting to gain understanding, find someone who can work with you - a mentor of sorts.

One does not experiment with shamanism - it is a way of life that one is called to and embraces.

Blessings to your journey,
Karen


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 Post subject: Re: For my own curiosity
 Post Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 1:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:16 pm
Posts: 260
Location: NW UK
Finding a mentor is good advice. Researching shamanism could also give you some pointers or direction but 'experimenting with it' is perhaps not the best way to look at it.

Being aware in the way that you describe is something that most of us can do if we only learn how to listen and open up in that wider way. You can also discern guidance from the Universe by observing everything around you. Given the awareness that you already have, this way of interpreting signs and auspices may be something you could have a natural talent for.


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 Post subject: Re: For my own curiosity
 Post Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 5:49 pm
Posts: 5
Maybe "experiment with" was the wrong choice of words, but I keep having this feeling that there is something right out there in front of me, like thin thread that i could just grab if I knew how to do it. So now I will have a look at this stuff a little more.


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 Post subject: Re: For my own curiosity
 Post Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:24 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 5:49 pm
Posts: 5
I just remembered something that happened a few months ago. One day during School I started feeling really sad, not like the usual melancholy you can feel when stressed out or you just got dumped by your crush, but deep genuine sadness. I had not felt like that since maybe 4th grade when being bullied, and all day I fought back tears. I tried to think of a reason to why I felt like this, if I worried about my grades, felt lonely or was sick of being single, but I just could not pin it down.

So, during lunchtime, I took a walk, my High-school was right next to cemetery with a small chapel, and i went inside, sat on a bench facing a red and "glass" colored (normal glass) window, crying like I was insane, just sobbing uncontrollably. I sat there for ten minutes and then went outside and sat on a bench in the sun, and started crying again.

That day it felt like something broke, and i felt like as if I was in the wrong universe. Everyone seemed distant and ordinary things seemed surreal and fantastic. I was constantly thinking of what would happen if I killed myself or something like that, and that made it even harder to fight back the tears. On the buss on my way home I felt empty and strange, like I knew something that everyone else was blissfully unaware of. I kept mumbling things about how everything was fake, how we were running out of the things we needed to live and how we all were dead allready. It just felt like the whole world was a gigantic facade, and i couild see right throiugh it. Like there was deep truth behind and beyond, and that i just had to reach out and grab it.

Later that night, not feeling as sad as during the day, the night always comforts me, i felt as if I could punch a hole in reality, like it was projected on a screen, and I felt sad for other people not seeing what I saw, even though I did not understand what I saw.


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