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 Post subject: Long journey, fogged path
 Post Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:56 pm 
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Location: Midwest USA
Energy has been flowing through me in great amounts since a very young age. It has always been very confusing and at times just plain scary.

There is native ancestry in my blood, not sure if there is a direct blood link to a shaman or not, but it is untraceable at this point as far as genealogy is concerned.

It might sound disjointed at times, but I want to give you guys as much information as possible because what I am looking for is for ideas and direction.

I've had people in the past sense my energy and wanted me to either heal them or just use me. I am not sure if people can feed off of someone capability to channel energy, but this has happened several times.

I was brought up in the church, and while I have tried almost every denomination the result seems to always be the same. As soon as I am identified as having charisma and others listening to me I am given the task to recruit others... when I refuse I am pretty much an outcast.

One of the most difficult things for me to control is empathy. I can feel others energies and they almost invade me at times. I am not even sure what aspect this is, but it is very hard to control when I am trying to help someone.

During periods of my life I have chosen to almost forget that these capabilities exist in me.

Even though I am new to shamanism as a practice, I have been doing it all my life without knowing it. In the past couple of years it has become more clear that I have to use my abilities to help others.

In the past I have been instructed by people that know a lot more than me to perform energy cleansing on them, but I have yet to find a true teacher, someone that has had more energy channeling capabilities than I have or can tell me how to truly grow as a shaman or a healer.

I am married and one of my main interests right now can be considered selfish. My wife is in need of healing and I want to be able to help her out, but having never trusted someone enough or found the right path I would like to get some direction... a true place to start.

A close friend has been coming to me for advice every couple of months. We sit and have long informal conversations only to find out after a period of time that she need healing. After I identify the negative though in her head and cast it out, she gets a lot of comfort and relief.

I am hoping that all the information I have given here can lead to some answers or maybe being pointed in the right direction. Look forward to hearing your thoughts.


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 Post Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:51 pm
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Location: Ohio
The first thoughts that rose to my mind as I read your words were as simple as the basics generally get. You posses a strong charismatic charm. One set well enough in his own convictions to know not to blindly be used by others, but you have yet to manage through your own self.

(As many books and practitioners from various 'systems' of metaphysics studies will generally say,) your own energies, 'chakra', are out of balance still. While others are seeking aid from you, you yourself still need to balance yourself out. Now this is my own opinion, but I instantly recognized the lack of any grounding. You have a strong sense of 'presence' in your gut, and you can vocalize yourself very well, but you are still detached.

Quote:
One of the most difficult things for me to control is empathy. I can feel others energies and they almost invade me at times. I am not even sure what aspect this is, but it is very hard to control when I am trying to help someone.


You need to ground both your energies, and your convictions about who you are, and where you fit. You have your convictions over the weightier matters of life set, but seem lost as to who you are. Without sounding too egotistical, I guess what I think I'm trying to tell you, (assuming this is truly what you are having issues with,) is ask yourself what you want from life. You have a talent for helping others in your own way, but seem to lose yourself to others ego's.

I had a girlfriend once much like this in the past. She was a highly charismatic individual, with a gifted charm in her voice and the ability to set a sense of presence to those around her when she desired attention. She desired much to help others, and always sought to go out of her way to try to please others. But she always forgot about herself. She lacked grounding, and was always afraid to accept help for herself, feeling she didn't deserve it.

Now you may not be as extreme as she was, and believe me she was an extreme case. But the message it still the same. Don't forget to take pleasure for yourself and be a little 'self-centered' (not blindly selfish though,) at times. Just don't lose yourself within your own ego, just as you do not want to lose yourself in the ego of others.

- Monkey


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 Post Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:45 pm
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Location: Dallas, Texas
Hey Shaneller. I am not very experienced, but I can tell you what I'm working on as a newbie.

1st, that whole "born again" experience, or what is called "shamanic death". That happened and got me going on the shamanic path. In my case, it was unexpected result of curiosity with Salvia Divinorum which dynomited the barriers to spirituality I had built in defense of the doctrinal upbringing of my childhood. I wonder if you had such an exerience. It is said in many cultures that this is important, and can come from a near-death experience, a vision quest, etc. If this happened there will be no doubt at all.

2nd, learning to crawl. In my case, this meant journey by drum-induced trance. Different cultures have different ways.

3rd, building relationships. In my case, making contact in the spirit world, 1st with my guide, then with others. Build relationships. Gain allies and becoming "power-full". I am still doing a bit of this.

4th, exploring, mapping, learning archetypes that access realms, finding connections between the worlds, etc. I am doing mostly this.

5th, applying it all. Use relationships to get things done, such as healing beginning with close family and then maybe beyond. I am not doing this so much yet, but have had some good results.

6th, guiding others. I don't really think I know enough to teach anyone although I tell what I know if asked.

Hope it helps.


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 Post Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:43 pm 
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Monkey

I am impressed that you picked up on so much. While I am not completely ungrounded or lost on who I am overall, there does seem to be a sense of being lost in the path. My energies are definitely not balanced and obstructions are probably a big factor.

What you described using your ex as an example is something that I have also seen in others, but not in myself. While I have been in many paths when it comes to doctrine, it has not been to find a home but to find experiences and walk a journey... a journey of truth of sorts. I think even new doctrines can offer some wisdom.

I tapped this resource because there has been a strong calling lately... not sure what is amplifying but I need to find a good guide, I need the connection to others to help me move forward. Postulating the questions here is only the beginning of what I hope is finding some friends that can relate to something most people cannot or don't want to understand.

Please ask me more questions, I think you might be holding some of the answers I seek.

5010

I have not had a true born again experience but it is probably something that like you said might help out tons. I am curious as to what I should to first, have the experience or seek someone to balance my energies.

Building relationships I think is probably which interests me the most and if you have any ideas and resources for this I would appreciate you pointing me in the right direction.

I think I need to learn to take my first steps and I hope some of you can share your wisdom and help me just do that.

Thanks for all the words, and feel free to ask and continue this thread.


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 Post Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 3:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:51 pm
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Heh, I tend to have a bit of a heavy intuition on picking up those kind of things...

Well for starters, its good that your not at that extreme. I dealt with her for 3 years and honestly she was hurting me as much as she was hurting herself. Of course back then I wasn't anywhere near as balanced as I am now, (and even now I know I'm not perfect yet.) Actually, what your going through sounds more akin to where I was probably about a year and a half ago. At least in the sense of where on my 'path' I was at...but I'm rambling now.

First question; have you tried meditating, or grounding yourself? And if so how do you usually go about it?

In my case, grounding was always a specialty of mine that I had a natural talent for. Much like your talent with charisma, my talent was primarily in grounding myself and others and subsequently opening my crown to my intuition, (I've noticed that the whole energy thing seems to work in opposing pairs in many cases. Yours with your gut and vocal.)

I've had friends call me somewhat confusing because I tend to have a high energy profile, somewhat chaotic in nature, (monkey...well duh,) and yet at the same time I can be completely calm, or calm others around me.

I used to always think that it would be a bad thing to balance myself too much. I had this fear that I would lose my individuality and become just another body in the game of life. Ironically I found it to be completely opposite once I finally started actually balancing my energies. It took a lot of attitude changes for me, and didn't exactly happen overnight.

As with myself, and in many other cases I've seen, usually you already know what's wrong with you, its more a matter of admitting to yourself where you have an issue, and learning to develop new habits, attitudes, or behaviors to over-ride any negatively charged habits. In my case I had issues with my gut and vocal energies. Ironically part of my issue was simply my diet, though much of it was dealing in general with my sense of 'presence' and ability to project myself to those around me. Basically my confidence in dealing with situations I may not be the most familiar with. Luckily for me the place where I am working at has 'conveniently' forced me to work on those aspects of myself and in a sense forced me to balance myself out. yeah...convenient...

---------------------------------------------

Doctrine's I'm assuming your talking about various religions, philosophies and perspectives? I can definitely say from my own experience, that it was this search that finally brought me to Shamanism, though, I had already fixed many of my energy and personal issues before I actually started discovering this perspective, if one can even really wants to call it a doctrine since unlike most of the other philosophies and religions this one is almost completely devoid of any set rules...

I sometimes like to call it the expanded definition of Murphy's Law...

Ultimately, though, I say go with what your gut tells you you should do.

If your feeling a strong calling, act on that impulse. I myself am not the type of person to read books or anything like that, but I found my gut practically forcing me to pick up this one particular shaman book in the book store one day, and well lets just say the rest is history.

Which leads me to my second question; Is there any specific direction or aspect your 'gut' seems to be pointing you towards in the shamanic perspective? Or does it seem to be seeking general knowledge or understanding on the overall concepts?

-Monkey


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:36 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:39 pm
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BetaSwimmer wrote:
Actually, what your going through sounds more akin to where I was probably about a year and a half ago. At least in the sense of where on my 'path' I was at...but I'm rambling now.


I am kind of excited that you feel there are similarities because as I start this new journey it would be nice to have people that have similar beginings.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
First question; have you tried meditating, or grounding yourself? And if so how do you usually go about it?


Yes and No... I guess this is where the longer answers beging.

I need lots of input to be at peace, and I never understood why... I guess I need to really explore drumming and I might try to do that on my own at first.

I think I have attempted meditation but gone about it the wrong way in many cases. I have had results with some traditional ways and had dream series in the path that I can recount very vividly.

That said, in the past when I have had serious events in my life that had left me in a really bad emotional state I've entered what can be described as a state of trance and also used traditional repetitive prayers with very good calming results.

I also think that maybe finding an open drumming group might be something to explore.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
In my case, grounding was always a specialty of mine that I had a natural talent for. Much like your talent with charisma, my talent was primarily in grounding myself and others and subsequently opening my crown to my intuition, (I've noticed that the whole energy thing seems to work in opposing pairs in many cases. Yours with your gut and vocal.)


I would probably benefit a lot from someone like you. Interestingly enough someone started working with me who I believe has a lot of grounding natural energy. We work well together and accomplish a lot professionally, but he is very much a born again christian and would probably not be open to bringing up the word shamman in conversation.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
I've had friends call me somewhat confusing because I tend to have a high energy profile, somewhat chaotic in nature, (monkey...well duh,) and yet at the same time I can be completely calm, or calm others around me.


Discorvering my animal would probably also bring a lot of balance and understanding. Most of my life I thought it would feline in nature, but now as I get older I think it might be a bird of prey... not sure yet but would love to find out.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
As with myself, and in many other cases I've seen, usually you already know what's wrong with you, its more a matter of admitting to yourself where you have an issue, and learning to develop new habits, attitudes, or behaviors to over-ride any negatively charged habits. In my case I had issues with my gut and vocal energies. Ironically part of my issue was simply my diet, though much of it was dealing in general with my sense of 'presence' and ability to project myself to those around me. Basically my confidence in dealing with situations I may not be the most familiar with. Luckily for me the place where I am working at has 'conveniently' forced me to work on those aspects of myself and in a sense forced me to balance myself out. yeah...convenient...


I have found good balance in my life through lots of self discovery. I know that in the past I let others energy invade me rather than let them coexist. I have been in a very chaotic environment professionally and I am in the process of changing that and I think it will help a lot to my overall well being. Emotionally I am very self aware and very happilly married. I know what areas I can improve both mentally and fisically... I guess I also feel good spiritually and can find peace easier than in the past, but in finding peace I find myself wanting to help other more and more if that makes sense.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
Doctrine's I'm assuming your talking about various religions, philosophies and perspectives? I can definitely say from my own experience, that it was this search that finally brought me to Shamanism, though, I had already fixed many of my energy and personal issues before I actually started discovering this perspective, if one can even really wants to call it a doctrine since unlike most of the other philosophies and religions this one is almost completely devoid of any set rules...


Yea, I meant exactly what you thought about. I guess they key is that none of them provide me enough.

BetaSwimmer wrote:
Which leads me to my second question; Is there any specific direction or aspect your 'gut' seems to be pointing you towards in the shamanic perspective? Or does it seem to be seeking general knowledge or understanding on the overall concepts?


Crap, there was only two questions :)

My gut is telling me that I am a shamman that has yet to discover his full potential and ability to heal. I am seeking understanding of what a shamman is and what avenue will get me to be able to help others.

Getting tons out of this simple conversations so please continue, and thank you.


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 Post Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 6:30 pm 
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Shaneller wrote:
I have not had a true born again experience but it is probably something that like you said might help out tons. I am curious as to what I should to first, have the experience or seek someone to balance my energies.


That experience can be guided during your initiation into an apprenticeship. If you like the idea of learning from a master, consider that route. I've always been a doubter, so I prefer learning the things the hard way by trial and error with a dangerous dose of curiosity.

Shaneller wrote:
Building relationships I think is probably which interests me the most and if you have any ideas and resources for this I would appreciate you pointing me in the right direction.


Sure. "The Way of the Shaman" by Michael Harner explains some methods really well, in my opinion. If you want to know more about how I do it, I wrote a rather lengthy explanation in the shamanism forum on this site (look at "one-eyed hawk" discussion). Even so, it's just the "tip of the iceberg".


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 Post Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:56 pm 
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First thing I do wish to point out is that Grounding and Meditating are different than Journeying. In most instances people view grounding as essentially the 'flushing' of energy into the earth and realigning yourself with the more natural rhythm of energy of the earth. I call it simply refocusing my body and mind, keeping myself level headed and expelling any charged emotional energies from my body.

I work in a high stress environment, it may be just a deli, but between customers getting agitated waiting for their meat to be sliced or cooked, and other employees letting their own personal life get involved in the work place and generating and overdose of drama it gets rather hectic. I used to always run into the cooler anytime I felt myself getting overly emotionally charged, or whenever I found myself getting too tired or pent up. I would usually find a small spot on the floor to squat down in and I would undergo a bit of a grounding session to realign my energy before returning to the work place.

Now with grounding in my experience there are infinite ways it can be done. Whatever helps to find your focus the best is what you should do. Hold on a minute...my dog is trying to play tug-o-war with the towel and is dragging me off....

...Back now...anyway, so most books I've read talk about a technique involving standing and imagining one's self as a tree, letting your roots(feet) sink and grow into the ground, releasing your energy into the earth as you draw renewed energy back from it. Honestly...doesn't work for me...I mean I can focus the energy, but the whole tree with roots part doesn't work for me. In any rate, its the most commonly used technique. My technique, and one that I later found being discussed in my shaman books involves a more simple concept, (and I personally view it to be more practical as well,) of just lying down flat on your back. Use a pillow if you like, I don't, it usually distracts me. As you lie down, begin to focus on the gravity around your body, and feel as the earth pulls you into itself. Let your body sink, feel your energy sink into the earth as you clear your mind.

Remember though that when you first start learning to do this, take your time. Don't rush the energy, learn to just let the flow of time cease to have meaning in your mind and clear all thoughts out as you imagine the flow of energy leave your body and sink into the earth. Just let your mind focus on the simple sensory pleasures. If your outside, listen to the bird, or crickets, or the wind, feel the air on your skin. Just learn to let your mind wander in a calm flow.

As you get better at grounding you can start to try to focus on grounding yourself even with others around you and even when actively doing other things, such as walking or running. I myself have taught myself a bit of a 'purging' technique, as I call it, which I can use to either physically warm my body up when I'm cold, (ie in winter time...cause I hate the winter....) or to quickly purge any negative energies from my body especially useful in my high stress job.


Shamanic Journeying would essentially be the next step in the process. Similar to my style of grounding you essentially clear out your mind and just learn to let your mind travel into a dream like state. Drumming isn't required, but typically is used because it helps induce the right kind of mental stimulation to let your brain go into a trance-like state, and its a sound that you can focus on in the 'real world' which helps keep you grounded when you enter the 'other worlds'.

I've seen some books talk about trance induced shamanic journeying being the only real visions that one should follow on the basis that you can't control your body, (or have too much control over your environment,) in other dream/mental states. Personally, though, I find that any 'vision' no matter how random you have, (including those vivid and lucid dreams that you can actually remember,) all generally have some meaning to you, and your life. Are you technically journeying to the 'spiritual worlds' when you dream? Depends, and when you enter shamanic journeying your are forcing yourself into the 'spiritual world' so you do have some control at least, but its not a requirement for the ultimate path of life.


As for your job situation, I will say one thing from personal experience. Don't run away from a job because your afraid, or don't want to be bothered with the stress...I can almost guarantee that the stress will follow you. (assuming that is part of the reasons for leaving changing your job.) In my experience, the more I try to run from issues in any segment of my life, the more they fight back against me. I learn to accept and learn to work within my world, facing my challenges, and from there I learn to change my world as I desire it to become.


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