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 Post subject: Journey Log
 Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:48 pm
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Welcome to my journey log! I am rather new to journeying (I've been practicing for about 2 weeks 3-4 times a day) and the purpose of this is to get others input on what I'm experiencing. I've heard that only the shaman should interpret his own experiences, but I believe that others can provide a unique perspective.

I decided to start this after a rather interesting (and scary!) journey. Let me tell you about it.

I was sitting in the library, taking my 15 minute break, so I didn't have any kind of drumming unfortunately. However, I have meditated many times on my 15 minute break and in loud areas so I was easily able to enter a trance. I decided I wanted to try a soul retrieval, even though I had one earlier that was far from successful. Let me tell you about it in brief.

I entered a tunnel, but when I can out the other side I could see the landscape below me, and had to fly to it. It was barren and rocky, a desolace. I followed my spirit guide to a cretin (thats the best I can describe him) standing on a rock surrounded by lava with a small path that led to him. He was holding and obsessing over something. As I got closer he tried to run, and I saw what he had, a heart. Assuming it was mine, I tried to stop him, but he got away and ran into a small house nearby that I did not notice before. I followed him and to my surprise the house was full of big scary monster-like beings. I tried to run, but before I even could they were attacking me, and stripped away parts of me before I escaped. Go figures, I go to retrieve part of myself and end up loosing quite a bit. :(

Now back to my latest attempt at soul retrieval. I flew down to the ground and found the exact same creature in the same spot! I didnt think anything of it, but I didn't want him to escape this time, so I lassoed him in. Strangely enough, he practically gave it to me without being asked. Looking back that should've thrown up a red flag considering he was acting like Gollum and the One ring with it. Now that I had the heart, I was ready to return. I began to fly back up toward the tunnel, but I saw that something was following me, something with wings. I quickly learned that it was a pair of angels. They asked for the heart, telling me it was a decoy more or less, and would actually curse me if I absorbed it. He destroyed it using his staff; it dissapeared in a flash of light. I asked him if he would be my spirit guide and he declined, saying that he was more or less my guardian angel, and was here to help and protect, not to guide. I departed him with a hug and a peaceful trade of words. I decided to look for this cretin again to interrogate him and see if there was something smarter than him behind it. Since I was in the air, I checked the surrounding landscape with ease. I quickly spotted him, he was talking to a dark cloud that had a enormous evil presence. He looked at me and smiled, then began to chase me. I barely escaped, he almost had me multiple times. Even through the tunnel he pursued, breaking through stone barriers I through up in his path with ease. I only escaped by waking up, god only knows what would happen if I let him catch me.

My spirit guide has told me more than once that some big players are after me. He says its because of my potential, and its hard for me to say that because I have low self-esteem and would almost rather be average than tell people I am special.

Anyway, I have decided not to traverse to that particular corner of the lower realm, though I am kind of scared to journey at all because I feel that this dark cloud has got my scent and will find me if I do. My next move will probably be to buy a real shamans services and see what he can do for me.


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:43 pm 
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I journeyed again today, right before bed. My intentions were to find, bring back, and absorb the spirit of the Salvia Divinorum plant. It was rather enjoyable, filled with pleasant feelings that distorted my ability to feel the room around me (thats the best I can describe it).

I started off going down a tunnel, as always, my wolf beside me. Almost instantly I faced the black cloud again. I told my wolf to defend me, and he commanded him to leave. He also called him a demon, which made sense to me. We reached the other side and I yet again had the problem of falling back into the hole. When I say that I mean when I try to exit the tunnel, I keep seeing myself fall back in. I tried letting myself fall in but this time showing up in the spirit world at night. It worked! I let my wolf lead me to where she was located. There she was, made entirely of leaves and vines, very pretty. As we walked back I talked to her some, but noticed that I couldn't keep my hands off of her! It was very strange and not intentional, I was doing it unconsciously. It even went so far as to kissing her. She said she was flattered. It was going well right up until we entered the tunnel. We were attacked! Three black snake-like things tried to pull her away from me, but I held on and my wolf scared them off. She was burned in the incident, and I could tell she was angry with me, but she still agreed to guide me on my salvia journey. My wolf healed her afterwards.


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 Post Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:56 am 
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Interesting thought as I lay here at 1 in the morning cause I cant sleep. Battling your demons. Does it come from shamanism? Probably.


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 Post subject: Salvia Divinorum
 Post Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:15 pm 
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Well I had my salvia experience today, and I'm still debating on what it means. I bought two doses, and tried to chew the first one. Since its extract it didn't work. I smoked a bowl of the other dose and had an experience similar to the only other experience I've had with it. I was sitting in my closet and my entire perspective changed instantly. Everything I saw looked like it was being taken away from me. Everything was broken down into little rectangular blocks and little hands were pulling them away. Though I might be describing it in a way that it might sound different to some, I'm fairly certain this was the message I was supposed to receive, but just what does that mean?

Hopefully I can get some input from you guys, I see that people are reading my thread but aren't writing anything. I WANT YOUR OPINION!!


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 9:28 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:27 pm
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Location: Cedar Park, TX 78613
It seems we have the same problem,too many mind,or too much on your mind for intent or response,you need to quiet your mind,too fragmented,so much comming and going the message and messanger get lost in the crowd.I'm not a shaman but I'm learning to listen,its realy hard for me with todays modern world,I can give you the advice that I recieved,start writting in a journal,three pages every morning,then after a couple of weeks start writting during the day and night whenever you can,it doesnt matter what,now I havent gotten beyond this point and I cant interpret or direct you further but there are those on the site that can,this is helping me a lot,I'm starting to get things from people,empathicly,someone will sit down with me and this abstract thing pops in my head and it doesnt have anything to do with the subject at hand or with me personally but it does end up affecting them,its happened twice in the last month,I cant help you with journeying,it doesnt work for me the way its specified in any book,I'm a dreamer,sometimes I'm awake and sometimes not,dont put a lot of faith in the written word as far as shamanism goes its different for everyone the book can only give you that persons experience so good luck I hope i helped a little,dont try too hard,youll get more results the more you learn to relax and let things go.


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 9:37 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 8:12 am
Posts: 62
Location: Canada
Hi Kstep

First, let me recommend some reading - Shamanism as a Spiritual Practice for Daily Life by Tom Cowan and Seeing in the Dark: Claiming you Own Shamanic Power Now and in the Coming Age by Colleen Deatsman and Paul Bowersox. They are both basic introductory works that offer plenty of suggestions for journey work to begin to build and solidify a healthy relationship with the world of spirit. On another thread here, you said that you often journey without any clear purpose - and asked for suggestions. Your spirits were very wise to cut those journeys short.

While it's certainly possible that others on the this forum will disagree with me, I would strongly suggest that you stop trying to journey for the moment. You need guidance that is beyond the scope of this forum to offer. As an example, I would suggest that attempting a soul retrieval for yourself when you barely know how to journey - well, it's just not a good idea.

I would certainly hope that you would never walk into the prescription section of a pharmacy and randomly start taking the pills there in hopes of finding the one that will make what ails you better. But it seems to me that this is what you are attempting shamanically.

If you can't afford a course or can't find a teacher, then books are a reasonable option.

I certainly don't want to discourage you in your pursuit at all. I firmly believe that re-connecting to the world of spirit is powerfully healing for each of us and for Mother Earth. By all means continue on this path. But slow it down for the moment. You are clearly eager and excited about this work - I think that's wonderful. But, it just isn't good to jump off a mountain top strapped into a hang glider without ever having taken any lessons.

May your protecting spirits guide you along your path.

Chris


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:11 pm
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Location: Portland, Oregon U>S>A>
KStep,
welcome to this forum! My opinion in this matter is to take your own advice written in your first posting in this thread, and to seek the assistance of a professional practitioner. Blessings!


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 Post Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:30 am 
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Thanks for the replys!

@ chris - I'd love to read those books, unfortunately I have no money so I can't access them. I took your advice to not journey for a while, and I definetly wont try another soul retrieval, but I'd like to get back into it as soon as possible.

@ anthony - I can definitely see myself over thinking things, but how do I know the difference between what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing? Im a chronic over analyzer, hypervigilant (meaning I'm aware of everything that goes on in my head and around me) and love to daydream. One thing I've noticed about my journeying is that its always exactly how I imagined it would be beforehand. This has made me think that all of this was not journeying but just an excersizing of my imagination muscle. Then again, I'm also aware that I should only trust the first thought, and ignore everything else that comes after it. So I don't even know if I'm doing right, or if I'm just getting started, or if I cant do it because I have an overactive mind.


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 Post Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:04 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:16 pm
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Location: Tacoma
okay one, you write your stories very well. Easy to read with a good description. I like it.
Dos, I think you are missing a crucial step in the journey process. Do you have your own dream you can visit before going to lower worlds? This is usually called a garden and it can be your source of balance and relaxation before attempting something as stressful as a journey. It can be your backyard, your house, your apartment, your dream apartment, or a place you've never been to that makes you feel really comfortable. Here you will be able to freely talk with the spirits of your friends, family, and your guides.
I recommend you master this before trying another journey. It will help in the long run. From the garden you just enter though a hole in the ground or something to go to the lower world of challenges.

For the your journeys I'm just going to say your running too much. Even if your guide tells you it's dangerous that doesn't mean you can't do it.

I also think you should work on your shape shifting. being chased by a dark cloud? become light and burn it until there's nothing left. It was probably holding the real heart you were looking for. Afraid of the monsters in the house tearing you to pieces? Let them! And from your remains rebirth yourself with a stronger body. One more powerful than they could touch, or one more fearsome than the monsters themselves. There are many power songs you can sing in journey that would help, I'm sure you could get some if you asked your guides for a couple power up tunes.

And if I got a heart and was told it was a curse, I'd keep it because a heart is a curse.

Disclaimer: I have more or less no idea what I'm talking about. This is all just from personal experience. So follow or don't. If you like what you read do it.


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:21 am 
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Location: UK
Having read through this thread I have to agree with Chris & Iron regarding your journeys ..

You need the right tools <state of mind> to be able to conquer ALL .. think of it as mental agility if you will .. then, and only then, should you journey to the underworld ..

Many of us have made these journeys in the past before being prepared, so please do not think your the only one or even that we are reprimanding you for your efforts .. I guess we just want you to be safe ..

So, with that in mind, what do you need to know? ...


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:27 am 
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Haha yes I like the idea of becoming what I want in order to overcome any obstacle. Ive shapeshifted into animals before so I could keep up with my spirit guide and lassoed in a cretin before, but didn't take it so far as to scare off a demon. I figured if I confronted them enough times and beat them, they would eventually learn to leave me alone. The problem was I didn't know how to do that. I have the same idea about the negative energy thats become a part of me. If I cleanse myself of it enough times I should be able to get rid of it.

I said this in another post that Iron saw and responded too, but I feel that nothing I'm experiencing is anything beyond my imagination. Is that all this really is at the core? Or is that just how beginners experience it? I feel like I think too much, but I still know how to follow what I feel is happening. However because I function primarily by thinking, I feel less.


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:00 pm 
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Over the past ten years I have guided many people through the initial stages of shamanism and I have yet to come across a single 'newbie' that didn't think it was all a figment of their imagination .. I include myself in this ..

I have personally been my own biggest skeptic, yet after endless experiences in an altered state of conciousness (mind) and then seeing the end result a little further down the line, I have grown to accept that this isn't just about imaginaton or flights of fancy ..

Let me give you another view ..

I see everything as energetic in nature .. and thoughts are energetic .. your senses pick up these energetic threads and for you to experience them your physical self converts them into an energetic form that you can interact with .. now, if your thoughts are generating patterns that show a huge buffalo in your minds eye then who is to say this isn't as real as an actual buffalo standing in a field? .. it's just in another dimension, that alone is the only difference ...

This may not be the best way to describe things and it is an extremely simplistic explanation ... however, I can assure you of this .. it is definitely NOT imaginary .. oh, and yes it CAN hurt you .. 99% of all sickness, dis-ease begins in the psyche and within this space is where you will find the solutions to heal it ..

I hope this helps you a little with your 'imagination'

Respect, Goldie ...


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:33 pm 
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Like Goldie I have introduced people to shamanic journey work. Every single one of them has the same question you do. Many of them conclude it is nothing but their overactive imaginations and suggestion at work - and go away. Just as Goldie, I also spent a very long time being hugely sceptical about what was going on.

However, I now view imagination as telephone line to the world of spirit. The telephone line is the imagination, but the voices/visions on the other end aren't part of your imagination even though they may feel like it.

Spirit will eventually find its ways to make it clear to you that the voices and the visions come from a separate place, that the "other world" is indeed other and real. This can become a time of very serious freak-out for the learner. Lotsa things can go wrong at this point...both physically and mentally...if the learner is not working in a disciplined safe way with a well-experienced and trusted person. Please please be careful.

As Goldie said, we only want you to be safe.

Chris


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:24 pm 
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Thanks, I really needed some reassurance that I wasn't just daydreaming, but then again, daydreaming may not be what I thought it was either.

I guess this leads into my next question, sometimes I imagine what my next journey will be like. Is this journeying -or something close- even though I'm not in a trance? Essentially I'm asking, how essential is the trance state to journeying?

I can see a distracted person being able to journey all the same, not as efficiently but still journeying, but since hes distracted hes not entirely in a trance.


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 Post Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:16 pm 
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Well, despite Chris's advice, I tried another soul retrieval using Irons advice, and I'll say, it worked magnificently.

I started out in me and my friends old campsite, I decided to have a 'dream' that was somewhat nostalgic. I saw my wolf spirit guide, except he was disfigured. His eyelids were pulled back and so were his lips. It looked like he was barring his teeth but I knew he wasn't. Cant say I really understand that at this point. My new power animal was on my shoulder, a hercules beetle. I had a flashing image of one in my Computer Apps class. I instinctively asked it if it was my power animal and he said yes. We briefly discussed my intent, then descended to the part of the lowerworld I was last time I tried to retrieve part of myself. I saw the demon again. He flashed a menacing smile and started to charge me, but I didn't run. Instead (directly taking Iron's advice), I began to emanate a strong, pure light. I could feel his last thought and it was "he has learned...". Below me (Im in the air at this point, for some reason when I enter this part of the lowerworld I have to fly from the tunnel to the ground) is a small island of a landscape, something very similar to something I had imagined outside my journeys.

There were holes in the soil around this island (its hard to explain, its like were inside a sphere and theres a barren island in the middle) I took one of the tunnels which brought me to a darker sphere with a black bee hive looking object in the center. The room is full of evil spirits, and they all move toward me. Again I emanate the bright light, chasing away most of them. I could hear them scream as they fled down the tunnels. I entered the hive looking thing (still emanating light) and wandered down a path. My power animal told me which way to go and such. Eventually I said, "I'm tired of walking, where does this lead?" And I saw it, a big beating heart dangling by a string from the ceiling. There were some spirits in there, but the quickly fled when they saw me. I cut down this beating heart and put it on my back. As I left the chamber, I knew something big was going to stand between me and home plate. I was right. The room with the floating island now contained a black cloud that took up the entire room. My beetle told me I would have to switch it up a bit to take him down. I called on my guardian angels to help me, and they were there. One took out his staff and it began to emanate a yellow light, much like sunlight. It was working wonderfully, so I made a miniature sun right in the middle of the room, dispelling it almost instantaneously. Once I got back to my campsite. I absorbed the heart in a few deep breaths. My beetle told me I did very well, and would notice the changes in the coming days, though I felt no different at the moment, I believe him.


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