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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:12 am 
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Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:16 pm
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Location: Tacoma
This might sound a bit off, but have you considered Buddhism?
The methods are very thought oriented, and are pretty close to shamanism. I've studied it a bit, but its not my thing. But it does sound good for you if thinking is your problem. It will redirect it spiritually.

And on another part, try taking up a marshal art. That will help. Kind of an idle body makes idle minds theory.


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:29 am 
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I definitely see where you are coming from with your latest post ... and I would have to agree that preconceived thought is NOT a shamanic journey ...I can only suggest that you first practice some deep meditation techniques ..

A very simple method is to simply close your eyes and enter the darkness .. sit with it, allow thoughts to come and go without even attempting to hold onto a single one .. let them pass you by .. UNTIL your final thought is .. I HAVE NO THOUGHT ..

All you will see at this point is a total darkness with no pictures, no colour, nothngness in all of its glory .. then the true journeys will begin . .starting as a single flash of light, twisting and swirling with no real image of any type . .don't think about it, just watch it .. let it develop, let it dance it's way around the darkness..

Before very long it will be joined by further lights and they will dance for your amuzement . .again do NOT think anything of them, just enjoy the show ... this may at your first attempt be the ONLY thing you will see, however, with practice of maintaining silence and observation, eventually you will be amazed when your catapulted through these lights into a diffent dimension.

Sometimes this happens with an amazing ride through vortexes of light . .other times your suddenly on top of a mouintain looking down upon a wonderous landscape .. and even at this point .. think nothing of it, enjoy the ride .. allow IT to come to you, rather than trying to chase it .. because the more you chase, the further it will be away from you and before you know it, your back in this reality ..

As regards your dream of becoming a shaman, please believe me when I say this . .you really don't want it .. it involves much pain and hardship before you are selected by the spirits .. in my case I was extremely sick with cancer before being chosen . ..

If you wish to be a shamanic practitioner then that is all well and good and there is plenty of assistance to help you .. my first bit of advice is this . ..RELAX ..


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:48 pm 
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Yes I used to be an aspiring buddhist monk, but once I found shamanism I thought I had found exactly what I was looking for. Its like my souls religion.

For me buddhist meditation is very difficult, its extremely hard for me to stop my mind because it runs non-stop, over-analyzing, computing, comparing, measuring, guessing, expecting...It never ends. When my mind has thought about something until it is bored with it, it moves on to the next pointless thought. I'm trying to stop all of that which is even more difficult.

Its all very frustrating, and I don't handle frustration well. I just give up. I feel so immeasurably drawn to spirituality, yet I feel I have come with all the wrong parts. My goals are about as spiritual as they get. Live with a tribe in South America for 10-25 years, write my own religion, build my own society based on my religion. I just feel ill-equipped to accomplish these things.

By the way, I'm not sure if you would consider extreme depression for no reason a shamanic call of sorts.


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:37 pm 
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Hmmm.... just relax. Let yourself be, let your thoughts be as they are. Make your own meditation, by just watching your thoughts, what emotions those bring. There is nothing wrong with observing things. Do not try stop your thoughts, it is not the way. DO NOT TRY! Just let them be as they are. Trying makes tension into mind, which prevents deeper meditation and also effektive journeywork.

You have dreams to achieve something spectacular. Instead of dreaming, I would suggest to be just present. You are already, what you are, it is just mind, which prevents you to see yourself as such. When you die, you cannot take your achievements with you.


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:05 pm 
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You know kstep, it would probably help all of us to address you problems with shamanism if we had a bit of biography on you. Because knowing things like how you were seeking to study Buddhism can be quite important to fixing your current issues.


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 Post Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:17 pm 
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Ok then, I'll tell you what I know about myself.

I'm 17, a smart kid but has motivation problems (probably because of my depression) so I just do OK in school. I have depression, anxiety, and ADD. My ADD is minor and my anxiety moderate, but my depression is terrible. I take meds but if I don't get my meds I become extremely suicidal. I have tried to off myself about 5 times either before I was prescribed meds or in periods where I refused to take them. Don't ask why I refused them, I really don't know.

If the depression came from anywhere, it was me getting picked on as a kid. Somehow I don't think that would cause such serious depression but I have no other traumatic or even really sad moments in my life. Nowadays I get depressed from time to time (not sad, but actually depressed) and its usually about feeling alone. Ive only had one not so serious girlfriend and I've got a very wise friend who's told me I would practically be 'fixed' if I got a real girlfriend. She knows me like the back of her hand.

Unfortunately thats easier said then done, as I'm an introvert in high school looking for someone spiritual (not religious as in christianity), intelligent, an extrovert, and mature. As you could guess there are not many of them. None at my school actually.

I used to be strongly into christianity, but I saw too many loop holes. Who decides whats good and bad? What is good and bad? If he loves us why is it possible that I go to hell? Etc. My entire perception of life changed when I read the Conversations with God series. If you've not heard of it I highly recommend it. Basically a man sits down one day and through a kind of automatic writing, has a dialouge with God. It changed my life and my friends lives, so I can't recommend it enough. Almost all of my beliefs are founded upon this book. I guess thats why shamanism appeals to me so much, because it has very little beliefs and is very open ended, the world is for you to discover.

Now to my mind, the little troublemaker. I just realized this, that its not all the over thinking I do that makes things difficult, its my hypervigilance. Hypervigilance means I'm completely aware of almost every thought I have. With the exception of analytical thoughts it seems, as I get caught up in them too much to stop myself. It was probably the reason I found out that everything I expect to happen, doesn't happen. Hopefully you can follow this. Since I think so much, I almost always try to predict the outcome of an event. Since this is considered expectation to the universe, I have essentially practiced energy manipulation on the level of expectation to the fullest. There is a weird thing I don't understand though. Almost all of my expectations are conscious, but occasionally I have an unconscious one. Those come true with 100% accuracy.

When I'm aware of everything, there is some level of recognition when I see a thought arise. This recognition is simply evolving into analyzing. I hope that makes sense. Basically like an incessant 5 year old child who keeps asking "Why?". At this point I'm really looking for out of the box ideas on how to not think as much.

Like I've said before, Buddhist style meditation is very hard for me. If you know buddhist concepts, I would be one who is "Identified with the mind". And its true, my consciousness lives almost exclusively inside my mind. When I try to move it to the body or the soul or to silence, it moves back very quickly to my mind. Because I am hypervigialant.

Nothing else important comes to mind, but I'm more than willing to answer any questions you may have.


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 Post Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:53 am 
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hum, that kind of sounds like me when I was 17.
Let's get a little more of your shamanic history. first books, practices, journeys, the other stuff you haven't mentioned.


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 Post Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:59 am 
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If your describtion about your mindmovements are correct, I doubt also, that depression is only due childhood problems - if picked up is only event. (but there may be also those, you are not able to remember) Surely those have impact, but restless mind is worst of all. As they say: "if you lose your health, you lose something, but if you lose you mental peace, you have lost everything."

You are far too aware of single thought and attached it. Thoughts are mess and chaotic at best, mindmovement cannot be really controlled but ingnored. There is no reason to follow all your thoughts.

It is that subconscious, what is more about you. Mind lies and tricks, where subconscious tells more truthfully about present situation. It is more like listening your intuition. You can learn to hear it. That path usually is true.

Is there any activities, that calms? Have you tried any physical activities, wher you cannot think? Those, where you have to just focus on present, such as climbing, tennis, pingball...)


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 Post Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 5:24 am 
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THAT'S IT!!!

Where do you do all your journeying! if your like me when I was 17, then your probably doing it in your room, or class, or someplace improper to what you should have been doing it!

it's quite simple I believe.

go somewhere that clears your head.

yeah. take a hike. I couldn't get anywhere until I started to practice in parkinglots!
But location is a HUGE factor that I don't think has been considered by anyone yet!
Don't forget to bring a staff!


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 Post Posted: Sat Feb 27, 2010 8:21 am 
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AHA!

Thats interesting cause I always have felt a certain degree of peace in nature. I've got a wiccan friend with a great trail in his backyard who offered to take me out there any time I want, I'll have to take him up on that asap.

I'm afraid there isnt much shamanic history. I used to be 'into it' but some event came up that completely distracted me from it... Iv'e read part of Way of the Shaman, part of Mending the Past and Future with Soul retrieval, reading books on runes, and halfway through Many lives, Many Masters (another really good book). I usually practice in my green lazy boy chair in front of the computer (with all the lights off of course)with some shamanic drumming going on.

I did have a very interesting journey that I didn't record on here. I was sitting in class and I put my head down for a 'mini-journey'. I saw a pine tree forest covered in snow, and a clearing before me. Inside was a crater-like hole with two skeletons inside of it, one of a wolf, one of a man. My power animal told me that was me in a past life, and the wolf was my friend.

The book I was reading beforehand was Many lives, Many masters which is about past lives, so it almost feels inspired, but at the same time it felt like a very legitimate journey.


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 Post Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 2:29 am 
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Reading back through your posts I saw you read 'conversations with god' .. I also read them very early on in my journey in shamanism .. not because I wanted to . .I was given book 1 because I had shown someone all of my writings on discussions I had with my guides ..

when I started reading I was just nodding my head and agreeing ..

try this one .. get the first book <if you still have it> and just randomly open a page without thinking .. read the first things that hit your eyes and see where it leads you ... no expectations but I will wager it will be accurate to your current questioning ..

Just a passing thought .. enjoy :D


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 Post Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:52 pm 
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I had an AHA moment today.

When I talked to my psychologist one day, we discussed how we were both very low suggestibility people, meaning we resist hypnosis because we are too busy analyzing what is going on.

That would definitely explain why I have trouble journeying, because a hypnosis state is similar to a trance state, and I'm not fully in a trance.

The solution, learn how to stop analyzing so much.

Still working on that part.


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 Post Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 5:10 am 
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so how's that going?


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 Post Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 7:35 pm 
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Not gonna lie, its been a minute since I've last journeyed. I was discouraged because I think too much, and still struggle. Now that I'm coming back to it, I cant think of a better way to get better at something than to practice, so here I am.

I don't have a journey of my own to report, instead I received a shamanic healing from a professional. It was very interesting. First we did a cleansing of the chakras. My sexual chakra (don't know what its called), heart, and throat chakra were all blocked. We discussed what this might mean, not as to why each individual one was blocked, but the combination. She read it as a part of myself being suppressed. I concurred, as I would show more love to people but such actions are looked down upon. Next she journeyed on my behalf for about 20 minutes (though it felt like 5) and continued to tell me what she experienced. She said as soon as she crossed over, she met a distinguished, powerful shaman. She said that was me in a past life ( :D ). I was a great shaman, but became too materialistic. Since I became too materialistic, I received a wound of some sort and died. My shaman (the one who was doing the journeying on my behalf) told me that only people disconnected from their power (or the spirit world) died. In the afterlife he could not forgive himself, so he has carried this burden of guilt all the way up to today. She told him to forgive himself and to move on. Next she freed me of the negative entities that were attached to me, and protected me with angels to prevent these spirits from returning. On a last note, she told me that the spirits reminded her that I have "tremendous amounts of power", which is something I think I pointed out in my earlier journeys that I recorded on this forum. As I left she said she looks forward to seeing me on TV someday.

Overall I thought it was a really cool experience, and it left me feeling more relaxed than i ever have before. However I have felt little more than the extreme relaxation. I do recognize that it may take up to a few days to feel anything though.

I'll probably post back in a couple of hours with a journey of my own.


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