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 Post subject: Writer and lover with block looking for help
 Post Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:23 pm
Posts: 2
Hello, Um first of all I have aspergers syndrome which stops me from usually being concouisly aware of many of my emotions...

Anyhoo... I'm a writer, I love writing and am fairly good at it. However starting a couple years ago when the love of my life who lives across the country from me left after a visit I suddenly could not write anymore. I am and was depressed too.. and I'm receiving treatment for that but it's been two years now and I can not write. Writing used to just flow from me. it was one of my drives in life, One of the only things that brought me pure joy and happiness but now... I can't...

I know one of my callings in life is to tech people about aspergers... But the urge to write is part of my calling too... more so it brought me so much happynes... but now.... Nothing.... I think soul loss could be part of this but it's been so long i think there is more too now...

Any help would be wonderful!


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 Post subject: Re: Writer and lover with block looking for help
 Post Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:55 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:23 am
Posts: 120
Location: UK
Hi Tansyuduri!

It's very tempting to want to keep persistently creating stuff in our lives - projects, homes, relationships, writing, art etc. but this flies in the face of the natural [Yinyang] "Law of Opposites".

Creativity has to be BALANCED by destructivity and this is encoded in our DNA - our ancestors had to violently chop down trees by hand to make homes, and had to cut and thresh [thrash!] corn to separate stalks from grain. Then the grain had to be BASHED violently by hand to make flour, etc. etc. We still see this balance of peaceful creativity and violent destructivity [e.g. hunting, killing and dismembering] in indigenous shamanic communities today and they have very little problem with either depression or "burnout".

Sometimes in our modern world - disconnected from nature and natural laws - we try to be "too nice" or "too spiritual" and go into a self-destructive, crippling imbalance by disconnecting from our natural appetite for [safely channelled!] aggression.

When life "punches us in the guts" e.g. via breakup of an important relationship or by destruction of a treasured dream or failure of any kind of project in which we are emotionally and/or spiritually invested - then our ancestral-DNA for "striking back" gets activated. The powerful energies of our natural ape-like responses has to be respected, harnessed and channelled into something helpful - e.g. violent exercise, screaming out in pain etc. Repressing natural energies not only cuts us off from some of our natural earth-spirit, mother-nature energy, but also repression itself takes up lots of our energy on a continuing basis.

Creative-blocks can often be quickly released by cathartic-release work:
http://www.lovehealth.org/tools/catharsis.htm

The point of cathartic healing work is not simply to release accumulated REACTIVE violent energies in the "over-flowing" outburst kind of way. In group-facilitated cathartic healing session, the healee is strongly encouraged by the group to "open the entire can" of violent feeling in a COMPLETELY HOLISTIC [this is a key part of success] way, so that the "bottled-up" energy is completely released - to the point of collapse. In the place of stillness that ensues after a full holistic catharsis, there is a brief opportunity for the group to put TLC into the underlying emotional/spiritual woundedness of the healee, that is the source of their excessive or inappropriate ANGER/AGGRESSION. At the same time the healee has an opportunity to glimpse their old wound memory [thereby opening a door to subsequent specific healing work] ] AND to RECONNECT to the natural soul-PEACE and soul-STILLNESS that lies within each of us!

Michael
www.sunflower-health.com/healing.htm


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 Post subject: Re: Writer and lover with block looking for help
 Post Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:43 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:23 am
Posts: 120
Location: UK
tansyuduri wrote:
Asperger’s syndrome which stops me from usually being concouisly aware of many of my emotions...


Diagnostic labels like "Asperger’s syndrome" can become a terrible prison of self-limitation! This one especially is just a varied description of what is seen in some individuals at a certain point in time
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger%27s] and can, and often does, improve both with time and with training.

I grew up in a family where emotional skills, such as emotional awareness and emotional expression were not particularly well practiced, valued or encouraged. I carried this trend forwards in my life until at age 37 I had a trauma too big for my stunted emotional skills to handle. In the months that followed I became aware of strange feelings - energies inside me - and gradually started to recognise them as specific emotions: sadness, anger, grief, fear etc. Previously I had experienced and handled/responded to most things that had happened to me, at the mental level.

I had to learn a new language! ..and I had to learn to cry - at first there was just a slight shrug of my shoulders, then a faint whimper, then gradually as the trauma continued to reverberate through my life, causing more upsets and an obsessional constant revisiting of it - eventually I could fully and holistically cry, rage and grieve about the tragic events that had happened, and I thereby began to heal and liberate myself from the past so that new creativity - a new life or "rebirth" could happen for me. In this new life, my enhanced emotional self-awareness, open-ness and self-expression brought me richer, deeper relationships - especially a deeper and richer relationship with myself!

So, take heart, Tansyuduri! Don't imprison yourself in rigid, restrictive beliefs about your capabilities. Don't let them become a safe "better-the-devil-I-know" excuse for avoiding risks and personal growth!

Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: Writer and lover with block looking for help
 Post Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:11 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Portland, Oregon U>S>A>
Have you tried cutting the etheric cords between you & your loved one? This enables both of you to reclaim your selves anew in light of your parting ways. It does indeed "sound" like soul loss has occurred, or at very least power loss. Do you have access to someone in your local area who practices shamanic healing and soul retrieval? Bless!


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