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 Post subject: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:12 am 
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Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:14 am
Posts: 3
Hello and thank you to those who have taken the time to read this post and reflect on my plight. I'm seeking perhaps some words of wisdom to gather a scope on my current situation.

I consider myself a Tao/Atheist but have always regarded shamanism as the most logical spiritual spam. I was wary of expressing my feelings to my family and friends because I believe their own convictions may only make me more confused than I already am. And that is why I am creating this post.

Recently, about a month, I've been feeling drained of my essence and it is greatly affecting me and my loved ones. I try to internalize it and its only getting worse. I at first thought it was seasonal depression but It has been feeling deeper than that. I'm diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder (I take my medication and is under control) so I know what mania and depression feels like, and this ' mental funk' feels far different. As if a part of myself is gone. Not only do I FEEL this, the loss projects itself on all facets of my life. For example, I'm a artist and I have not been able to muster the strength to do what I love. Not only with art, but life itself. I've been desperately looking for genuine happiness again and consistently feel like I'm failing at every attempt.

With nothing to lose, I searched the internet and read about 'Soul Retrieval' which in turn brought me here. Within my reading I came across 'Soul Borrowing' or 'Soul Stealing' and I can't help but feel explains my situation.

My dilemma involves the one I love. My girlfriend is far beyond just my mate, she is my best friend and the only person I believe truly understands me as person. This entire situation I know is my fault, because I've given everything of my being to make this person happy. I consider her a "borrower" because she is not taking advantage of me. She is loyal, loving, and always there for me. The problem I think is she now unconsciously is using my energy, and I'm afraid to confront her because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I've helped her become a better person, devoting my entire being to the loving, beautiful, kind and wonderful person I know she is. I believe I gave her a piece of my soul; the strong, ambitious, joyful side of me that I'm currently lacking. I know she is not doing this with ill intent. Losing her is not an option, because she saved my life and reminded me who I was when I was far worse off than this. So my problem is finding a solution that we can both be happy together, because really this is not her fault. Lately I feel she has become so dependent on this energy, she doesn't understand what damage it is doing to me.

Only worsening the situation, I've been laid off and relying on my family to get by. I have not had true 'rest' in quite a while, and I use all my energy is just to remain sane everyday, let alone take on further responsibilities. I've started becoming more dissociated with people making it more difficult to find a new job. On top of all this I feel divided between my girlfriend who I know needs my help, and my family that helps me. This imbalance leaves me feeling incredibly guilty, and I don't know what to do.

I hope that if someone reads this and understands my issue, I can sure use a finger in the right direction. I know I will eventually find myself again, and this may be one chance to find it. Thank you so much.


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 4:33 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:39 pm
Posts: 66
I do not know you,nor do i know what triggered your downfall.If it is your girlfriend,then think about it:do you want to die for her?Certainly,you are in no position to help her.You can't even help yourself!Your first,and ultimate responsibility,is to save your life.You do not owe your life to your girlfriend,no matter how needy she is,and no matter that she saved you in the past.If you saved yourself,you would be in the position to help her.
Are you sure that you have lost your energy,through your interaction with your girlfriend?How so?Two helpless people trying to help each other-where is that going to lead?
You must claim back your energies,as your own,if it is not too late.You must be truthful in your communication with your girlfriend.If sexual activity with her is leaving you depleted and weak,it is your responsibility to look after your energy.Are you having sex with her due to guilt and obligation?
I recommend that you spend your days in meditation and introspection, at this time.You need to restore your energy.For this you need physical discipline, spiritual discipline, and commitment to a cause higher than yourself.You are lucky that your parents are there to save your life.But,you must do a lot of soul searching and inner work,before you proceed to act in the outer world.Get plenty of sleep.Take vitamin B complex for 2 weeks.Eat well.Pay attention to your dreams.Spend time alone in nature.Heal.


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 Post subject: Oracledreamhealer Response
 Post Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:14 am
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Thank you oracledreamhealer for your speedy response. I also am grateful for your sincere and forthright attitude. I think your words helped me gain some more perspective on my predicament. I wanted to answers some of your questions to get a better outlook on what is going on. I didn't want my post to drag on too long so I tried to just include what I felt was most important.

My situation is far more complex and subtle to elaborate every variable in such a limited spam. I agree that this is a time to help myself but cannot just simply detach this person from my life. As you said, I'm not exactly sure if she is even the root of my problems or downfall. If I were to do that, I may be making a far larger mistake than just working through it. I know in my heart if I act drastically I will certainly pay for it later. This matter is not just a fleeting love affair, I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years. I only feel she is affecting me because I feel I've devoted far too much of myself which is of my own doing. When you ask, How so?, I feel I gave her my ambition and drive, which has propelled her life, but left mine stagnant. I do not regret this, in fact I would sacrifice far more. Even so, I simply will not just give up on someone who genuinely cares for me, even at the cost of my discomfort. If I give up my selflessness and loyalty, it would leave me with nothing to truly believe in.

As for sex, its always a bonding, healthy, and consensual experience which we regularly have. Being together this long, sex is the least of my concerns. I know I do not owe my life to her, but I don't want to destroy the most honest, unconditional relationship I've ever been in. Especially, if your right, and there is another force at work here. I certainly am going to take your advice and try to take command of my energy if I can. Even if I'm left hollow, I am at least fulfilled that I found a true source of love, even if it is masochistic.

I also agree with you I'm unimaginably lucky that my immediate family is here to help, and so is her family which has welcomed and cared for me greater than most of my other relatives. If I learned anything over my life, it is not to make life decisions solely based on transient emotion. I cannot simply forsake and dismiss her, and her family's love when I don't exactly know what the real issue at hand is. I feel that is far too selfish. Which still leaves me at a loss for a tactful approach to expressing my feelings to her. Everything is not concrete, and I feel there is a solution to creating a happy medium out there.

I am certainly going to take your advice. Coincidentally I ordered a new book on meditating just before making these posts (I've read mediating for dummies but I think I need more substantial techniques). I'm going to give the B Vitamins a try and get out into nature like I used to (Nature Photography is one of my great passions which I've let go as of late). My dreams, as I'm sure you can imagine, have been troubled recently, a sure sign of some inner torment.

I so very appreciate your guidance oracledreamhealer, and it made me feel much better to confide in someone out there. What helped me most was when you said, "But,you must do a lot of soul searching and inner work,before you proceed to act in the outer world." which gave me confidence that I'm not a truly lost cause. Thanks again.


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:03 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:56 pm
Posts: 18
[quote="Ronin1010"]Hello and thank you to those who have taken the time to read this post and reflect on my plight. I'm seeking perhaps some words of wisdom to gather a scope on my current situation.

Recently, about a month, I've been feeling drained of my essence and it is greatly affecting me and my loved ones. I try to internalize it and its only getting worse. I at first thought it was seasonal depression but It has been feeling deeper than that.
_______________________________________________________
Ok; what you have here is a case of vampirism. You are being targeted, probably within the lower three chakras. You feel that your lover is a wonderful sensitive person; you really don't want to let her go or jeopardise this great thing you have even though you have worked out that something is badly wrong.

Most probably you are losing your jing; the sexual essence that is the foundation of your vigour. You may feel lassitude with a sense of fear or anxiety because your kidney energy is weak. You will lack stamina and energy. You will find it hard to concentrate or create because the jing is not available to transmute into shen.

You may talk to your lover about this, but probably you will not get very far. She will tell you gently it is your problem and encourage you into therapy. There is little percentage for her to change the situation.

Vampirism is a complex phenomenon because often entity attachment is present. However your partner cannot be cured unless she acknowledges there is a problem.

If so, for you there is no hope until you ditch this relationship. It will be hard because she will try to reattach to you. When you have broken definitively you can begin to rebuild. You will probably need entity clearing when you do, because often in these cases there is transference.

Mark


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 9:37 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:41 am
Posts: 8
Take backthe part taht you feel is gone. It;s yours.


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:23 pm
Posts: 2
Hey, I have the same issue, Both my GF and I feel like we lose part of our soul when the other one is gone, I seem to be effected worse though... Just so you know its not an intentional thing

Don't ditch the relationship, there is no reason to! Instead try to work with your lover, Explain to her what you think is happening, She loves you! the fact that shes causing you with pain will be horrible for her, she will be just as eager as you to find a way to get you your soul back! Rememeber that she is not doing this on purpose or consciously! don't say it like you blame her!


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 5:58 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 5:38 am
Posts: 2
I have found reading the book The Celestine Prophecy is helping me to better understand the energy exchanges between people. The book covers lots of areas but specifically looks back at childhood and how we vie for our parents attention/energy and if we don't get enough we get into a power struggle for their attention. If we don't learn to support our own energy systems as adults we continue to get into the same power struggles. The author also explains how we can lose ourselves in each other and how we can change this. A suggested read that is helping me and may help you.


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 Post subject: Re: Spiritual Assistance: Loving a Soul Borrower
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:01 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:42 am
Posts: 210
Location: Alexandria, Virginia USA
a lot of good suggestions here, but ...

Many times, what is at the root of our illnesses is ourself - our Self. We give away our power; give away our health; give away our Soul to another person or another situation, thinking we are helping or doing a good service.

What we are really doing is known as self-sorcery.

Instead of giving of your own energy, you must learn how to flow the universal energy through you; you must become the "hollow bone" or the conduit through which these energies flow to whatever you are focusing on. The universal energy is limitless; unlike your own life force. But you can also bring this energy to you to "replenish" and heal yourself as well.


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