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 Post subject: looking for guidance...
 Post Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:53 pm 
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I am hoping that someone can provide me some guidance--I'm struggling a bit with how to interpret my experiences.

about 7 years ago, due to some rather complicated experiences, I found myself working with a Cherokee Medicine Man. After a couple of months (3 or 4, perhaps), one of my guides, a wolf, told me that I am a shaman, that I have the blood of the old ones in me, and that it is my destiny to teach people to live free.

Unfortunately, for various reasons, I was not able to continue to work with that medicine man. But there were plenty of other challenges presented to me, both in the real world and in dreams and visions.

As I mentioned, I'm hoping for guidance. My "initiation" was pretty intense, spread out over an elongated period time--it started before I met the medicine man, and seemed to extend after I stopped working with him--but now I don't know where to go.

I've left out a great deal of information, to prevent one of those never-ending posts. I can provide more information if you have questions about anything--I just wasn't sure what to include.


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 Post Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 9:34 pm 
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What tradition was this medicine man from?


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 Post subject: Cherokee Medicine
 Post Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 11:00 pm 
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He was of the Cherokee lineage. But I'm not sure if I am. At one point his teacher held a sacred gathering, and while I was participating, the spirits in attendance gave me the name Little wolf.

My personal journeys and visions seem to have been heavily influenced by Norse imagery, which makes some sense, seeing as how I'm Swedish, Scottish, and Irish.

The medicine man I was working with also studied Buddhism in Tibet, and got his Ph.D. in transpersonal psychology with Stanislof Grof, so there was some other stuff going on too, I imagine.


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 Post subject: Re: Cherokee Medicine
 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 3:50 am 
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lametaoist wrote:
At one point his teacher held a sacred gathering, and while I was participating, the spirits in attendance gave me the name Little wolf.


In detail, describe what went on at this gathering. I may see an omen in your words if you do that.


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 Post subject: Re: Cherokee Medicine
 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:35 am 
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lametaoist wrote:
My personal journeys and visions seem to have been heavily influenced by Norse imagery, which makes some sense, seeing as how I'm Swedish, Scottish, and Irish.


What Norse imagery in particular, I am of the Nordic tradition maybe the spirits are trying to tell you something important and you are missing the point.

May the light of the stars illuminate your darker paths.

Eamon.


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 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 8:06 am 
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Where you need guidance? You were told to teach people how to live free. What else you need to know?

You do not need to start doing teaching, you may just be and show example... All depends what you want to do. I received my 'mission' about 9 years ago. Still I just practise it it more than teach to anybody. And you cannot actually teach anything, if you are not in it. And if I start to 'teach' how people should think or be, it is too superficial. I just show example, and what satisfaction I get, which may provoke people to think.

You do not need to do anything, just live your life, trust life's synchronizity and right people and situation come beside you. World is full of possibilities and it is always bettr to find your own way, which suits you.


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 Post subject: good questions indeed...
 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 12:05 pm 
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perhaps I can answer both Eamon and Jusma at the same time.

I believe that my initiation was a gift from Odin, and I'll see if I can tell this part coherently--

Without going in the detailed backstory, when I was in college, I was diagnosed with mood disorders that increased in severity over the course of four years. When I was a junior, I took a course in which I was challenged to write a play exploring my roots, and being a martial artist and of Nordic descent, I wrote a play that questioned the definitions of madness, in which the main character, though deemed "mentally ill" had taken a drink of Odin's mead (made from his friend Kvasir, I believe is the correct).

Through writing that play, and a number of other things, like reading about Kundalini energies and shamanism, a year later I decided to pull myself off of medications.

During one of my journeys, while working with the Cherokee medicine man, Odin told me that he had paid all of my old debts, and that all was forgiven, but that I now owed him, that I was to be one of his Einherjar.

About a year later, or maybe a little more, I was almost killed in a train accident (I was on foot, not in the train, walking my boss's dog. I don't remember the day, so I have no idea why I was on the train tracks). When I returned home several days later, I had a vision of Odin, in which he told me that my debt to him was paid--he had given me the opportunity to die in battle, and I chose life instead, so my debt to him was paid.

I have very little "formal" training in shamanism--I only know how to meditate, and my journeys seem to take whatever form they will. My dreams seem to be the most powerful journeys, and they often form coherent stories. Currently, I'm a financial advisor--it was pretty much the only job that I could get after the train accident, ironically enough. I have been operating on the premise that it allows me to teach people to live free--debt free, free of worries about their finances, and able to retire--but I'm miserable, and I suspect that I've been deluding myself.

I'm not really looking for career advice, I don't think--I guess I'm worried that I'm misreading the signals, even though it has never seemed like I've had much choice in all the decisions that I've made. The universe seems to always have only provided me with one option.

I've still left out a number of details, to conserve space, but I can try to include them if someone would like.

I hope that answered Eamon's questions. To Jusma, I'm miserable, because even when I feel like I am living in line with my destiny, when I'm honest with myself, it seems like I'm just trying to convince myself of that because it's easy. The messages and signs haven't been coming as clearly as they used to, and my job is so all-consuming that I'm struggling to find the time to listen.


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 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 2:08 pm 
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Fantastic story you have, and when you are really living your destiny. I have similar feeling right now. I have no choice with I am doing. I cannot get any other work. I am actually unemploid (doing just a few classes), and evertyhing is fine. Sometimes it is hard to believe that.
But those doubts do not help anybody. Do you feel your life should be some another way? And if yes, why? What is missing? What kind of life would fulfill your destiny better?
It may be you need just a break, outside laying down and watching sky and clouds.

After all, even universe seemed to give only one option, you have taken it. As Odin told you chose life. You did not choose death at train accident. Even it seems there is only one option, there is still that another.

And I have to say, that real work is done among people!!!
Learning right way to rattle, showing some feathers for well paying customers at workshops is quite bullshit work for me. I bet you can help far more people at far more important matters at their daily lives than fancy drummers with their ridiculous costumes. Sorry, if people get offended, but bringing 'the work' for people for this time's problems just souds so good.


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 7:25 pm 
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You could try doing a counselling course (like i am doing). You learn alot about yourself and about how other people behave and react. Then you could use your knowledge when you advise people on their financial situations....most people looking to sort out their money matters usually have some underlying problems in their life that made them sort out their finances. One day a customer will come to you with a problem that is more than just money related and you will turn their life around by what you have learned..... Life is about learning. Dont stop teaching yourself.


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 Post subject: Accomplishing your mission
 Post Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 9:12 am 
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Location: Kamouraska
Lametaoist,

You have received four wise advices from four allies :

Forget what you have already learned and experienced life, unemploying your mind, (Jusma)
All details around you are significant, they are omens of the universe, (Teopiltzin)
Practicing and experiencing is more important than teaching actually, (Enocheye)
By being lost, you are missing the important message from the Universe. (Eamon)

I would add that being a financial advisor is a perfect job for you because people open you their doors with trust. Listening to them is more important than selling them something on financial matters.

E.W. Aweel
PS By posting, in a way, you are teaching.
By the way, the more you listen, the more commissions will poor in from your clients.


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 Post subject: Re: good questions indeed...
 Post Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 5:23 pm 
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lametaoist wrote:
perhaps I can answer both Eamon and Jusma at the same time.

I believe that my initiation was a gift from Odin, and I'll see if I can tell this part coherently....


“I believe that my initiation was a gift from Odin“.

Quite possible with your lineage and given your mental state, which would have made you open to him. I have always found that very few people, even those that purport to follow him really understand him. His image of the great God of war of the Vikings is not truly accurate. True he claimed the Einherjar, but then so did Freyja. The Vikings would have gone to war in his name because he was the All Father, the Gods Tyr, Freyr and Thorr they would most probably have empowered themselves with before going into battle. It was the Beserkers who would fight purely for Odin because as they fought they would enter what was basically a shamanic state. Odin is by nature more of a politician than a warrior, he is to us also the archetypal Vitki or shaman.

“Odin's mead (made from his friend Kvasir, I believe is the correct)”.

True, Odhroerir was formed from Kvasir’s blood.

“Odin told me that he had paid all of my old debts, and that all was forgiven, but that I now owed him, that I was to be one of his Einherjar.”

Over the millennia Odin has always had a bit of a name for being a trickster and I must admit it gave him a bit of a bad press. I also must admit it is true, what Odhin says is not always what you think he means. I believe he was using your limited knowledge to ‘get you on board’ by letting you interpret his communications based on your previous understanding. You see there are several anomalies:

1. To be an Einherjar you had to die in battle, sword in hand.
2. What debts? We Norse are born without karma (a Hindu concept) and guilt from the past. We have a thing called Orlog much more refined and hangup free. This forgiveness thing sounds like a Christian concept creeping in, WE must find forgiveness from those we have harmed.
3. We all owe him he is our source of inspiration.


“I had a vision of Odin, in which he told me that my debt to him was paid--he had given me the opportunity to die in battle, and I chose life instead, so my debt to him was paid.”

What battle? There was no battle except between you and death and I am glad to say you won. I would imagine from this point on your life has irrevocably changed, am I right? Everything that was laid out before you has now gone and you had to choose a totally new direction.

Ah! It all becomes clearer. Let me explain.

Odhroerir: The most powerful of elixirs, I would doubt you have yet drunk from it ritually. However when you wrote the play you would have concentrated hard on it, which would have formed a psychic/spiritual link to it and of course Odin. That was probably when you got noticed as you tuned in.

Einherjar: The chosen warriors of Odin & Freyja taken by the Valkyrie from the battlefields. I would replace the word Einherjar with the word chosen. When Odin chooses he chooses for a reason.

Let me explain; as I wrote earlier most people have a misguided view of Odin. Odin is the All Father as in Great Spirit, Creator, God etc. It is Odin who created the world out of the forces of chaos; the world is an evolving entity and Odin is focussed on that evolution to the point where he creates the correct events to keep it evolving. In doing so he will manipulate events towards an end using the resources available, those of us who are in tune with him are a resource.

In modern speak the creative consciousness of the planet will manifest corrective situations in aid to keep a balance within the holistic organism.

Eamon


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 Post subject: Thank you...but it goes deeper
 Post Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 8:08 pm 
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It was always my understanding that in addition to being the All Father, Odin was the god of War and Poetic Inspiration, and that the Odhroerir was the inspiration for both poets and shaman.

I first started to receive messages from animals in 4th grade, probably. I was living in suburban New Jersey, and when I went to get a newspaper, There was a large deer on my front lawn, seemingly waiting for me. Later on, after some digging, I learned that I guess that's my birth totem, according to the Native American Calendar.

Five or six years later, when I was living in the woods (dirt road, 33 acres of land, most of it woods, in upstate NY), and my dad and I were out fishing in the pond when a coyote noisily exited the woods about 50 feet from us. My dad tried to make noice to scare it away, and I just stood transfixed. Our gaze met, I think, and then it turned and walked back into the woods. Two years later, or so, I saw a red-tailed hawk waiting for me as I turned on to a highway on-ramp, perched on a guard rail.

Surprisingly, a great deal of the turmoil in my life seems to correspond relatively closely with the appearance of the animals. When we left New Jersey and moved to upstate New York, I decided that I wanted to be more likeable, so I made some major revisions to my personality. In addition to that, living in the woods with no one nearby taught me the importance of connecting with people, because I had little opportunity to do so.

Not all that long after the coyote appeared, my life started to turn upside down--a soccer coach that was kind of a jackass had been playing mind games with me for a while, and it started to affect my school work--I went from the only student to ever get straight A+ average to not even making honor roll (it seems so ridiculous now...) I had been reading sports psychology books, which provided me with some solace in the past, but now my mom took me to a counselor who specialized in trauma and sports performance stuff (odd combination). She used EMDR therapy with me, which had interesting side affects. I was able to manipulate my negative memories and reform that, taking control of them. It also put me in a blissful, almost ecstatic state for a couple of days--you know, colors brighter, living in a state of pure consciousness, filled with joy. It faded, naturally, and so we tried the process again during wrestling season, because I wanted to find that state again.

That was after the coyote, but before the red-tailed hawk. Interestingly, there were some subtle changes that started to happen over the next couple of years. One interesting one that happened that year was a dream that I had...I hadn't really had dreams of any significance in a long time, so this one stood out:

I was a comic book reader as a kid, and unfortunately, most of my understanding of Norse Mythology at the time was based on the comic "The Mighty Thor", which was probably more accurate than one would think. My dream was about the actions of a handful of witches (the picture was straight from a comic book), which tore a hole in the universe, allowing the evil demons from, believe it or not, the "Greyskull" universe, (it seems in my limited understanding, I used a reference to He-Man to represent what I was seeing.) In my dream, Thor and I fought side by side against what seemed to be a never ending stream of evil spirits. I was holding in my hands what looked like Mjolnir, but with a triangular/diamond shaped blade pointing out of the bottom (in hindsight, it look somewhat phallic). When the battle was over, and we had one, he and I located the breach in the universe, which was apparently in an apartment building, up several flights of stairs. It was a hole in the wall, with an orange and green design around it, and on the other side was what looked like outer space (blackness, with possibly stars in the sky) For some reason, I threw a bomb into the hole to seal it, although I never actually saw the hole get sealed.

Shortly either before that or after that, I started writing poetry, suddenly, and for the first time. I had never been particularly creative, and suddenly, at the end of my junior year in high school, I felt compelled to write poetry, and lots of it.

I was also having problems with inexplicable rashes, which isn't too much of a concern for a wrestler, but the Dermatologist had never seen some of them, and had no idea how to treat them. One looked like my skin had started to blister and peel off, which was rather odd.

The hawk appeared in my senior year, after we had moved out of the woods, into the city. That year I got into college early decision, so I decided to really dedicate my time to wrestling, to see how well I could do. I did extremely well, placing 7th in Prep school nationals, but tore the cartilage in my shoulder. I ended up getting a prom date with what seemed like the girl of my dreams, but screwed it up because I was in a sling after the surgery and extremely self-conscious. The usual high school drama...

That brings us up to college, which I've talked about already. This seems to have been the long email that I was trying to avoid...

The battle, Eamon, would seem to have been between me and the train. It would have been a glorious and heroic death, trying to rescue a dog (already traumatized from abuse) from a train accident. Maybe it was my misunderstanding, but when I awoke in the hospital, I made the immediate decision that I needed to change my life completely. I had a mild concussion and the right pre-frontal lobe of my brain had been bruised, and I seemed to be pretty much without emotion for several months, which helped me navigate through some rather unsavory situations.

Perhaps my personal belief in Karma influenced my journeys. At the time, I was trying to figure out what had happened--I had just spent four years on lithium, klonapin, depakote, and at various times risperdal and tegretol, and I didn't know why I deserved that. My understanding now is that everything that happened was needed to bring about the change that happened.

This is now way too long. It seemed to me that Odin had seen my before, when I was a "warrior" and a poet, but perhaps not. I had always liked Norse Mythology, but for some reason, had never studied it, (with the exception of comic books, which don't really count) But after the train accident, which was 6 years ago, I haven't really known what to think. I took up esoteric martial arts, like tai chi and togakure ryu ninjutsu, and read every book I could find about shamanism, but it hasn't been the same--like my connection was altered. I guess that's why I'm telling my story hear...maybe someone can help.


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 Post Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 2:44 am 
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Can you put your real problem into one word? I am not still sure, what it is.

If it is that, you do not know what to think, I think you possibly have just started a pathway into wisdom. You know there is no truth here. Like Socrates was a man who actually knew nothing, and that for was very wise at this time. In a way all paths lead to Rome, so there is no such wrong or right ways.

Did Odin mean this or that, it is you however who is living your life. How you live it depends just you. However soul is drawn to fulfill it's life mission, whatever your mind thiks. So sometimes it seem you have no choice. And from your soul's point of view, does it really matter what is going on your mind?

What is possible? Also in my experience is that always all what we do are not consciouss. Sometimes it is like living in parallel universum same time or different decades are coming into same spot one upon the other. Being multidimensional, and other parts may come to inluence your this time present and you are not aware of it, but your friend notices... And when you come to point, that you have no idea what is really happening, you cannot control your life as you think, and also you do not know what to believe or think. Good way is just to keep living and stick in your daily rutines, get grounded.


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 Post subject: One word? Probably not, but I can be more concise
 Post Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 9:53 am 
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My problem, I guess, is that even though being a financial advisor looks good on paper, or in theory, in reality, it doesn't seem to be going all that well. It seemed like the universe was directing me towards my current employer (again, didn't really have much of a choice), and I've done quite well so far, but it doesn't seem like I have a future where I am. Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to leave, because no one else will hire me.

How I got where I am---my wife relocated to another city to go to school for her Ph.D. After 9 months of looking for a job while living in a different city, I got recruited to join my current company. It seemed perfect--the new job was to start when my old lease ended, meaning that I wouldn't lose an money or need to find a new apartment, but gave me enough time to settle my affairs and move out to my new city. My new company was a not-for-profit financial services company, which meant that I was no longer working for an evil corporation. It was a faith-based organization, so my wife approved of it (not that she really disapproved of much, but still...). The company was giving me clients to manage, and the standards where incredibly low, which was good because it gave me time to make things work.

But things were not as I first thought--it turns out that faith-based is religious, not spiritual. The company is designed specifically by Lutherans, of Lutherans, and for Lutherans. As I am not Lutheran, I feel a bit out of place. Almost everything else that they told me was a lie. I had to continually fight to get the clients that I was promised, and even when I got them, they aren't sufficient to sustain me. My boss is irresponsible, tyrannical, and just plain lazy. The company is unable and unwilling to support approaching any group other than the Lutheran population, which is actually rather small in my area, and the primary tool for that is through Lutheran Churches, which makes me quite uncomfortable.

I'm helping a lot of people, so I don't begrudge what has transpired so far (not much--I have complained about some stuff...). At the same time, however, I've been questioning my ability to follow the messages given to me, and even whether I'm taking the right path.

In one phrase, I am questioning what to do next. As everyone has agreed, being a financial advisor seems like it should satisfy my destiny. But my desire to follow my destiny has lead me to what feels like a dead end, and that is why I'm trying to re-evaluate how I got here, and decide if there is a different direction I should be taking. Every time I speak to my guides, they tell me to be patient, and I'm trying to be so (somewhat unsuccessfully). But part of being patient, I would think, is evaluating whether I'm moving in the right direction.


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 Post Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 1:11 pm 
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Well, next be patient! :)

Also you could find a way to establish your own enteprise, for example. If you have much connections, you could tell your customers, that your services are available in new address. But there is great financial riks, can it be economicaly profitable enough to sustain living.

Or you may start finding a new employer.

But your question about next step. No-one can know. There is only this present step are in.


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