Thank you for your feedback Eamon. Take your time in responding--what you have said already has been enormously helpful.
The warriors most closely associated with Odin were the Berserker's who walked pretty close to a shamanic path anyway. If you were a Berserker following Odin yes there was a very big likelihood of you dying a violent death. They were the fiercest of the Viking warriors
Believe it or not, this actually makes sense to me. As a wrestler, I used to put myself into a trance, so that I would feel no pain, and so that when I was wrestling, I was in a state of heightened awareness, which seemed to heighten my reflexes, increase my strength, and allowed me to, on occasion, enter a state of pure consciousness while "fighting".
After I injured myself, got surgery, and was forced to give up wrestling, it left a hole in my life--I also gave up writing, because I was learning a new keyboard layout, and I was so busy with classes and what not that I didn't hive time to write anymore. My subsequent behavior started being interpreted as being Bipolar Disorder (irregular mood, unusual/uncharacteristic aggressive behavior, stuff like that), and I picked up Mixed Martial Arts as a replacement for wrestling, which was a rather violent hobby. There was still, at the time, a very strong draw in my life to become a "professional warrior". I missed what I can only describe as "the thrill of battle". The play took the nature that it did because it was an expression of my inability to re-integrate into society.
There are still some details that are unclear, but it seems to me that someone did die in the train accident--the berserker that I was struggling with, that I was having trouble leaving behind.
I equated the concussion to electroshock therapy--it basically erased everything, and I was forced to completely rebuild myself (for the second or third time, it seems). I had to relearn (or learn for the first time, perhaps) social skills, behavior, re-establish my memories, and re-establish a direction I was moving in, with only faint memories of my life before.
This time, I borrowed from togakure ryu ninjutsu--after awakening the primal aspect of ourselves, learning to hide it, so that we don't appear different, so that we can blend in and not call attention to ourselves, but still keep that wildness alive within us. But it also brought with it the idea of being a "warrior" and having a day job, because the ninja were spies, so they usually had day jobs. This part didn't really catch on with me before the train accident, but after the train accident, I felt compelled to "get a real job", so it resonated with me.
It seems that I have much for which to thank Odin. In some strange way, I feel like with what he told me (i.e. with the train accident), the "professional warrior" died. I've also hear Odin called the fetter loosener and the fetter binder--with a figurative death in the train accident, I managed to avoid what could have been, maybe at a later date, an equally violent death of some other sort. That by "choosing" life, I was choosing a new direction in which to express my destiny (or perhaps to actually express it, rather than being all warlike, and stuff).
I guess with that realization, I don't feel disconnected anymore. He "tricked" me, telling me what I needed to hear, waiting for me to figure out on my own that he's been watching over me the whole time. I guess he saw that I was more valuable as something other than a "professional warrior", which, to be honest, I'm kind of glad I came to that conclusion myself.
Hopefully, I'm not way off base. Does any of that make sense? I still don't necessarily have a direction, but somehow, I'm okay with that now. Unless my interpretation is way off base...