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 Post subject: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:59 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
I'm still struggling to discern what distinguishes Shamans
from Wiccans, or witch doctors, or medicine men and all I can tell at this point, is culture and language of origin - eventhough the word is Sanscrit in origin (I think, or something close), while the practice originates in Siberria. That might deserve a closer look. Solving these mysteries is my specialty. But that takes time and energy, and it diverges from the road in front, to which I must fully attend in these times.

The Ayuahsca Shamans in the Amazon likely did not derive their acesteral origins in Shamansim, but have taken the mantle, and fittingly, by the looks of it.

From all the lit I've been able to get my hands on, online, I'm guessing that these Shamans are able to take a group of people through the same underworld experience, right down to the kinds of visions they have, each night.

If that's true, the ability to conjure the same visions, more or less, for a group of people, for a period of 5 nights, whilst leading them through this journey must take a staggering amount of.... something....skill? Knowledge? Insight? It's like they know the archetecture of the mind...

If this should somehow be the 21st century standard in state of the art Shmanism, then this group would define the term more precisely and its meaning would be less ambiguous world wide.

The contenders for the title would have to be able to do all this, and more - to raise the standard so that they could re-define what it means.

So if I were to compare my Shamanistic abilities to the most trusted Ayuahsca Shamans in the Amazon, well there is no comparison.

I don't know the structure of the underworld well enough to be a tour guide at all, and I doubt one Ayuahsca vacation would qualify any more than I am already qualified to practice Shamanism.

Anything that I do practice is a pale immitation, and yet... maybe that's sufficient to effect the type of "healing" with which I might be able to assist.

Minor tweaks here and there to gain dramatic overall effects in a given area of affliction, one in which I specialize.

The next thing that all cultures seem to have in common is reaching ecstatic states - each by their own cultural means, but the purpose was aimed at obtaining blessings of health, fertility, and prosperity, and in some cases, immortality.

We as a culture are constantly in search of highs, bliss, and ecstacy but are somehow bringing about the opposite of health, fertility, and prosperity.

Maybe there's something about ecstacy I'm missing?

Your musings are welcome. It's time for me to go to the store now.

I'll add more thoughts if/as they arise.


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:29 pm 
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Posts: 184
Ever since I learned about Ayahuasca vacations I personally struggled with the idea of non eco friendly travel to the locale so that I could heal myself.

The two together, the gas guzzling airplane and the paradigm shifting mystical experience to follow, are very incompatible to my way of thinking.

Plus, what if everyone wanted to do this? All the resources to get there and the unsustainable risk imposed upon the rainforest, with all that traffic tromping in and out all the time?

They'd proabably need to build roads and an airport to make it practical.

If Ayahusca is really the gold standard in Shaminic experience, then we really need Ayahuasca Shamans here, in North America.

The only way I can think of, is to yank some of them out of the rainforest and bring them up here. But they might object.

I'm just imagining that if more people went through this experience, then getting them to switch over to an eco friendly lifestyle afterwards would be much, much, easier.

And therefore, Ayahuasca Shamanism heals and saves the earth as well as elevates civilization to a whole new level.

Ah well, I can dream...

Meanwhile, back to reality, and my comparatively paltry personal wishes and aspirations, the question of where our fear of death arises, arose.

If the mind is eternal, then it cannot be the mind that fears death.

Yet, it doesn't feel that way. I know my mind spends at least an hour a day in pure terror of some horrifying catastrophe, not unlike that sinkhole that opened up and took a man in his bed - yet left the rest of the house in tact.

So does my mind fear death? If it survives the body, then why?

I don't know.

But it's possible to suppose that the theatre of the mind is the body. The body is the benefactor of every experience we have.

I guess telepathy and other things along those lines, is the struggle or the ability to directly experience something without out bodily senses, because that would reassure us that the mind and experience does in fact transcend our bodies, and we have reason to hope that we continue when our bodies and egos expire.

So I think what I'm dealing with today is the benefits of coming to terms with death.

If I could do that, I'll bet it would radically energize my life, and if that's the case, then I will have accomplished the needed change without ayahuasca.

But, oh yeah, I hate the astral world... so maybe it's back to Plan A.


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:40 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
I have decided to sell my house and move to South America, either Ecuador or Costa Rica, can't decide.

I'm going to spend the next year learning spanish and building my online business.

My motivation lately has been non existent. I have felt like my life is over, that there is really no reason for me to stay. All desire for a regular life has been killed. Whomever I was, has been annihilated.

Eventhough I've been terrified of some catastrophic end, on the other hand, I've been ready to die for quite sometime.

But, the ayauhasca adventure awaits. A whole new continent awaits. A whole new language begs to be learned. A whole new way of experiencing life, a way that's quite foreign to everything I know, awaits.

I'm ready to lay everything aside, including my identity, and start again.

I've done just about all my dying. I'm ready to be born again.

I recall a dream I had about a year or two ago. I'm flying high enough about the earth, that I can see entire continents. I landed in South America. I woke up wondering what that was about.

Barring any act of God, I'm going to find out, in a year or so.

I can even take a private jet if I can find two or three people to share it with.

Sharing it with three people would bring my cost for a private flight to about 7k - but I have three cats and I want them to make it alive and well.

The great thing is that you can purchase most homes already furnished, so all you have to do is get on a plane and GO!


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 2:46 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:42 am
Posts: 210
Location: Alexandria, Virginia USA
Good luck on your adventure. Your "shit" will go with you, wherever you go, until you can face your Shadow self and come to peace. Then, and only then, will your old self truly "die" and be able to reclaim who you truly are meant to be.


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:08 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
I don't know who you are, and I'm sure you mean well, but I feel the smack of judgement - as if your shit is sorted enough to point out where I might be lacking. You're assuming I'm lacking because if you believed I had a sufficient level of self awareness, you wouldn't feel the need to remind me of my "shit."

Allow me to point out that shit is a holy thing. It makes everything grow. Everything we eat comes from it, everything, including us, will be recycled thusly.

It takes a lot of guts to put it out here, so that I can get a handle on it going forward. It's healing. It's Shamanic. It's humble, but it could lead to freedom.

Also, a lot of baggage has been thrust upon me that doesn't belong on my shoulders.

An identity is nothing more than a construct. I will seperate that from my essance, which is in essance good in all the ways that count.


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:22 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
I just remembered that shit is also all about transformation.

It is my plan to transform my perceptions about my life by healing through this crises that has arisen. Because I'm in a kind of sensitive state, it smarted somewhat to feel accused of running away from myself, instead of being seen as consciously dealing with everything that is surfacing, so that it can be transformed into something creative, productive, and life sustaining.

Plus, I see the rest of my life as an adventure of amazing proportions, and probably all because I came here in the first place, in search of a safe place to grapple with the dreams, the crises, and the effects.

Why not use this forum for healing?


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
I left the last city in fear for my life. The trouble started with harassment, and escalted to repeated break ins into my home, to murdering a crow and leaving it on my back deck.

The crows screamed a warning at me, today, from across the street, in the forest, then one flew, REALY LOW over to my house, nearly swooping my window right after. The screaming continued until I opened the door and whistled back to them. It was in the middle of my workout.

Three days in a row, people have behaved in an overtly rude way to me at the grocery store. Some people stare rudely, right inside my window, while I'm working out. It's bordering on harassment.

The call I'm trying to make is if the harassment will escalate and when.

This may very well be the unexpected car barrelling down my safe, quiet street, the dream that started my "Dreams!!" thread.

I have to calm down, and predict the liklihood of "if" "how" and "when" an attack will occur. The crows have me a little concerned. The last time they behaved in such a frightening way, an enemy died.

I have been harassed and bullied my whole life. Maybe it's going to hound me all the way to my grave.

Maybe it's something I can manage.

All these dreams though...


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 Post subject: Re: Gleaning, gleaning...
 Post Posted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:19 pm
Posts: 184
The crows were much more relaxed today.

Words just can't capture how amazing the pure white seagulls looked as they glided in the brilliant, light blue sky. They literally glowed, and like the crows do, they danced with me today.

I had occasion to speak with two of the "big men in town" today. I have the feeling that whatever forces were starting to gang up on me are going to disperse for the time being.

I think people here get pretty dissatisfied with their lives, and they will vent their frustrations on any available target.

I'm always the favorite, because I'm always alone.

I'm always alone, in part, because I have moved so often, especially over the last 10 years. As time went on though, aloneness became a preference. Most people I encounter in day to day life are capricious and judgemental. They make it clear that they will reject me if I try to befriend them, and they make it clear that they are mightily indignant that I don't try. In other words, you can't win with the every day crowd. So I win by minimizing my encounters as well as my headaches.

I've been here for about a year and a half now, and I've seen a consistent pattern of building hostility towards me, which usually results with my talking to one or two of the right people, at the right time, and an immediate cessation of hostilities, at least for a few months before they start to build again.

Women have no rights. Sure, legally we do, but socially, if you're a lone wolf, and if you're female, people believe that you have no right and that they have every right to invade and dominate any and all aspects of your life.

I guess I should be thankful that it's so much easier to call off the hounds than it used to be.


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