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 Post Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:16 pm
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Location: NW UK
I can understand that. If you want to know more:

http://www.emofree.com/Articles.aspx?id=30

It takes a little time to learn the effective way to deliver EFT but once learned it is a powerful tool which works to remove blockages in our energy system. I sometimes use it in conjunction with shamanic techniques to help the client release habits which have grown out of other issues.


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 Post Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:37 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:23 am
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Location: UK
Hi - Rachara El!

Some good points have been made in this very interesting and helpful discussion. I have suffered PTSD myself and worked with others - as far as they are willing to let go of what may have become a very entrenched self-protective lifestyle [or "mindset", as you have mentioned].

A key dynamic here is that the [seeing everyone as a potential threat] condition you describe is very self-perpetuating and the vicious cycle has to be broken, whereby aggressive/hostile behaviour keeps reaping hostile/aggressive feedback responses [i.e. the rejection of him/his behaviour/words/reality etc etc.]. As the saying goes "We reap what we sow!".

Has anyone seen the "Supernanny" series on TV? She regularly deals with kids [and parents] who have got into this "perpetual conflict" situation over a long period of time - or a short period of time after a major trauma. I have really learned some good tips from her for dealing with "conflict-addiction" [it really can become an addiction!].

Another place where I have acquired some good tips is "The Dog Whisperer". He produces amazing results within minutes on dogs that have become "adrenaline-addicted" with constant barking/attacking/threatening behaviour [like your guy??]. He works mostly via adjusting the body-language and energy/assertvieness of the healer [i.e. the owner] which often unconsciously encouraging and/or not putting limits around, the undesired behaviour.

The suggestions about teaching relaxation skills are in my view excellent. My preferred "therapeutic model" for working [or coping!] with this type of personality is the "vibrational medicine" approach. I am NOT referring to flower remedies by the way! Here's an insight into what I am talking about...

Trauma [e.g. war experiences] sets up a vibration in the human energy field. As already stated this may be expressed in ways which actually perpetuate the jarring vibration [if this pattern is restricted, or distracted, there is more opportunity for the vibrations to decay naturally. Restriction and distraction are extensively and very effectively used by Supernanny and the Dog Whisperer, plus they teach people around the "affected client" how to stop unconsciously feed the "off-balance" vibrations of hostility/aggression/hatred.

So "soothing" therapies and social activities can be very helpful, if the client REALLY wants to change and therefore will give them a try. These guys are often too agitated [in hyperarousal] for things like sitting meditation.
I would especially recommend Craniosacral therapy, and as a social activity "The Dances of Universal Peace" - there are groups everywhere - which powerfully use repetitive [moving meditation] singing and circle dance movements combined with cognitive content of a spiritual [reconnecting to "oneness" instead of "separateness"] and heart-re-opening nature.

Encouraging time spent with nature/animals/gardening can also be very helpful if the client has inclinations in any of these directions and becomes calmer when doing them.

Part of the calming process will require finding safe [non-vicious cycle] channels for expressing/releasing the violent held-in energies as they arise - which they will do for a while. Physical exercise, sports and martial arts can be very important so long as they dont lead to too much new conflict. I teach my clients with held-in violent impulses to release them via safe destructive activities - bashing up old boxes, tearing up newspapers, smashing bottles a the recycling centre.

Eventually dreamwork and journeying work will become more feasible and attention can go onto confronting the "inner conflicts" and fragmentations that always parallel external conflict.

I hope these suggestions are helpful!

Let me know how it goes!

I can be contacted via my website: www.sunflower-health.com

Mike


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 Post Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 10:29 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:42 am
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Location: Alexandria, Virginia USA
wow, Mike, thank you so much for your input.

I can definitely see how the cycle keeps the client in an unbalanced state. In fact, he suffers from sever vertigo and Meniere's syndrome. How obvious!

Anyway, I will study your resources, make a few suggestions to my client and report back how he accepts them. It sounds like the perfect path for relief.

Thanks again.


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 Post Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 9:35 pm
Posts: 98
Location: Stafford Springs ,CT US
Hi Rachara el, I love your postings you are a wise spirit. I'm sure you have thought of this to try to help. It worked for a vet I was working with. It was a painful long journey for my client but he's a lot better now. The client I worked with was a young like most of the vets still children when they were sent over to not only become (men) right away. Also to have to kill people that they really did'nt even know. I'll make this simple. My client hated himself for what he was forced into and when he came back to deal with his feelings pushed everyone away like they were his enemy. It's very hard to help someone like this to get himself to forgive and love himself. He didn't have anytime really to even know himself like most when he was sent to war. Good luck to both of you. This will help if you can crack open and start freeing his spirit. Blessings to you for your wnderful loving heart!!!!! :D Jim


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 Post Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:45 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:42 am
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Location: Alexandria, Virginia USA
you are very kind, FoolsHawk.

My client is having difficulty progressing as he seems to take one step forward, then RUN five steps back. But he did make a very strange statement: He does not WANT to be healed, because if he gets better, he has to return to work (i.e., war).

I think we have come to the source of the problem.

In this work, there is something called Secondary Gain. This condition occurs when something "good" is achieved by hanging on to the "bad." It is a false perception, and a difficult one to overcome. It's almost like he sees his present condition as more comfortable and familiar, and would rather be "sick" than to be sent back into the "war" (or struggle of life).

And until he sees the value of a 'healed" life, he will perpetuate this "sick" one. I explained that a healed life is not necessarily one of war (as he was conditioned to think), but of a happy, peaceful and productive existence. But he rejects that and says he is a Warrior first.

There are times when working with clients I could go out into the woods and just SCREAM, but that's not very helpful, either.... well, maybe just a little :roll:

Have any of you come up against Secondary Gain in working with your clients?


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 Post Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:09 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:35 pm
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Location: Finland
Frustrating isn't it?
I lost my health when in service of army. My body and mind could not take it, even it was just 8 months. It's not for my structure. I got better after about 7 years.

So your client is having trauma, because of the service of the army, he doesn't want to go back, do not want to heal and do not want to be anything else but a warrior. Can he not be a warrior, where he lives, the one who maintains peace between friends he has, give safety to others, defend the weak? Is he addicted to addrenaline?

Can this dead end be shown him and asked what he want's to do with it. After all, it is all his.


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 Post Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:33 pm 
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Location: Canada
Hi Rachara El,

In your first paragraph, you say that he said that he does not want to be healed because then he would have to return to work...war. etc. Frankly, when I hear "I don't want to be healed because...", the healing work is very very close to over as far as I am concerned.

I have run up against secondary gain, as you call it, more than once. I would gently but explicitly challenge your warrior to explain this or retract it. If he doesn't retract it very clearly, my time with him would end. We can't heal those who don't want to heal.

If their identity is firmly and solidly invested in their woundedness because they are either evading or gaining whatever, there is nothing to do except walk away and wish them well.

This does not mean that I do not feel compassion for their pain. I truly do. However, my bucket of energy and compassion has to go to those who truly want to heal. It is limited and they are many. (And I need some to deal with my own healing work for myself too!)

I cannot judge your warrior's situation. That is for you to do. Having read and admired your wisdom on this board, I know that you are a wise woman, but I need to ask if you have asked your spirits about this? Sometimes our desire to help can cloud our ability to hear the spirits' wisdom.

Is your ego involved here in the sense that as a healer, you want to rise to the challenge to prove something to yourself or to him? A difficult question -but one that must be asked. We too have limits. Please know that I do not pose this question in any mean-spirited way... but rather with the intention of possibly helping you see through this very challenging situtation.

From the bottom of my soul, I hope you can find a way to help him. If not, I trust you will use your deep wisdom to extricate yourself with grace and gentleness.

Chris


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 Post Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:33 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:51 pm
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Location: Ohio
I'm finding this all very interesting to read. While I can't say I've dealt with the soldier mind set issue, I can say I relate to dealing with someone who's under a 'Secondary Gain' issue. My ex-girlfriend to be specific. Ironically I got her to actually admit just the other night when she was seeking some help from me that she's obsessed with the cycle of drama and stress, and then the subsequent release after she ends the drama or climaxes it, that 'tension release' giving her this huge ecstasy like boost for a few minutes or hours, and then falling back into her cycle of depression... Its a hell of a lot more complicated than that for her, but its the basic gist. Overall she's got this huge issue with a lack of emotional control, and she had completely refused all methods I've presented to her to help. Yet, she admits something in her intuition keeps telling her to come back to try to get help from me...In her case though she's not quiet to the point where she's saying 'I don't want to be healed', and each time little by little I sense her 'ego wall' finally breaking away enough to let in some of the message I try to send to her.

But I do agree with Chris on the issue, don't let yourself become to boggled down by the situation, if they, in the end, are completely unwilling to show any sign of even desiring progress, then I wouldn't let myself become too attached to the situation. But I don't know the whole thing from your perspective so I can't say exactly if there isn't any semblance of hope for the soldier, (I'm not gonna say warrior because I reserve that for a different type of person.)

Good luck with it all Rachara El.

- Monkey


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 Post Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:42 am
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Location: Alexandria, Virginia USA
Chris wrote:
...but I need to ask if you have asked your spirits about this? Sometimes our desire to help can cloud our ability to hear the spirits' wisdom... Is your ego involved here in the sense that as a healer, you want to rise to the challenge to prove something to yourself or to him?


ah, right you are to ask, Chris. I have ask my Guides for direction here, and received interesting responses. And now, they are silent - which to me means Do Nothing More.

Some of the toughest work we can do is to get out of our own way.

Should I have continued on trying, then yes, that would be my ego pushing for a healing, a cure, improvement or some change. I must admit I would have liked to help - but I also recognize this is not my struggle, nor is it my benefit to heal him. I can only hold the sacred space, and allow Spirit to work (or not).


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 Post subject: Re: dealing with the Warrior Mind
 Post Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:36 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:03 am
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I can't say I know how to cure it, but if progress is going to be made, you need to get him to relax first, however that may be accomplished...... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: dealing with the Warrior Mind
 Post Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2010 3:23 pm
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hi rachara El
May the spirits sty close to you with this case
the poor client has been well brainwashed by the militery they have reprogramed this person . they need regrounding it is some thing we do to our selfs after ceremony this person came back with all the horrors and mind set to survive in such a place . I know native americans had ceremony when there people returned from war to honour them as a warrior and also ground them so they can enter civi life in a better state of mind a lot of damage done by war can not be seen .
dont think I am much help with you on this but if they did some thing like buried name tags to help remove that part of there life in a very safe place with ceremony it my be a step in moving forward
allthough ido not agree with wars every one need help
may your work have a break through
and spirit be with you
all the best


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 Post subject: Re: dealing with the Warrior Mind
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:24 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:25 pm
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Location: Chapel Hill, NC
I agree with others who have already posted, not to journey with him until he is more relaxed about his situation, however, there are other shamanic methods that can be used without journeying.

If the spirits you work with are so inclined, you can simply have them do some energy healing with him. The Guardians of the Directions told me after reading your post that if you work with healing his heart and solar plexus chakras, by balancing their energies and releasing shock, sadness, terror, etc., he will gradually heal to the point where you can journey with him.


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 Post subject: Re: dealing with the Warrior Mind
 Post Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:18 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:25 pm
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What you are dealing with is fear.

How do you deal with fear?


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 Post subject: Re: dealing with the Warrior Mind
 Post Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 3:37 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:35 pm
Posts: 301
Location: Finland
I saw recently a document about PTSD and had earlier no idea how hard it is to deal with. Not too many ever recover.

However in the document there was a bit similar first step as suggested here. Get client relaxed, but even that is not enough. Client was needed to be drugged, so that psycotheraphy could be even used. Even light signals or memories could take client back to warzone fearing for his life, he is going to die. At later stages this fear was depressed by aggression.

MDMA was needed to drug patient first to prevent signals of fear, which would lauch physical symptoms immediatly. That way therapeutist was able to lead patient back to moment of trauma, face it objectively and heal himself.


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